Thankgiving

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and there is little doubt I have much to be Thankful for. Unfortunately 5FU decided it was time to rear it's ugly head and hit me with it's best shot.

Overall my response to the last treatment had been better even though some of the side effects had intensified. The sensitivity to the cold was worse and lasted longer but the “first taste” blast was not. At the O'Grady household, on Thanksgiving Day, to have taste and smell is a blessing, Susan and her sister Beverly go all out to provide a feast unmatched by most mere mortals.

I had hoped to run a five mile turkey trot Thursday morning but as the week went on my hands and feet have gotten progressively worse. 5FU causes hand and foot syndrome potentially leading to blistered skin, I'm not there yet but I am very uncomfortable. To make an analogy, my hands feel like I've handled cement blocks, all day log without gloves. I addition to soreness there is the feeling of burning, one which cannot be relived especially the first week after Oxaliplatin has been administered.

My daughter has been a blessing, providing daily foot rubs of Udderly Smooth moisturizing cream but yesterday afternoon even this provided little relief.

Thanksgiving morning perfect and though I had missed the run I decided around lunch time to head out for my three and a half mile trail loop. My feet hurt but even so knew I could run “gently” over the rocks and roots populating the trail.

It was a good run and I returned home better than I left. As I opened the door to the house I was greeted with the smells of Thanksgiving, that wonderful mixture of aromas signifying a feast, soon to come.

Our Thanksgiving routine is the indulgence of at least two separate feasts, the feast of appetizers and dinner itself. I'm mad at myself for not taking a photograph of our appetizer table as it was an all out affair. I am sure I will leave something out but here is a listing

Onion Dip and chips

Duck Rillettes with French Baguette
Mousse Truffee Pate with Cornichons (small pickles) and crackers
Veggie Tray with spinach dip
Spanakopita
Crab Dip and crackers
Mango Salsa and Chips
Imported Cheeses with French Baguette (Epoisses, Brie, Blue Cheese, one other)
Salmon with crème fraiche capers red onion and pumpernickel bread
Sweet and Sour Meatballs

In years past I have made the mistake of indulging too much in the feast of appetizers to an extent that later, at dinner, I would realize that the turkey wasn't the only thing stuffed on Thanksgiving.

Needless to say I sampled all that was to be had at the “Feast of Appetizers” but I did not go overboard. As I sat down to watch Thanksgiving football I got really cold and started going downhill pretty quickly. My hands appeared speckled, looking quite red and bone white at the same time, they burned and ached along with my feet.

By dinner time I felt pretty lousy and by seven thirty, having sampled only some of the dinner fare I was “done in” excusing myself to head for bed. Susan as always was understanding and gracious as I attempted to apologize for departing prior to the completion of dinner.

It will be a Thanksgiving to remember, not the negatives, no, I will remember that as hard as it may be I am truly blessed.

Mike

JFK Roundup

I made it to the start and the finish of the JFK this year and though it was bitter sweet, my presence reinforced the feelings I have about running and this race in particular.

Talk to the average person about running fifty miles and you may see a look in their face, a look that projects concern and suspicion that you may indeed require psychiatric assistance. On the surface it may appear an impossible task, one which congers up visions of suffering, pain and misery. Run the race and at some point you will certainly question you sanity.

So it was that for the first time since I started participating that I actually saw the last runners finish. If you have never seen the “Back of the Pack” runners finish a marathon or longer I would highly recommend it.

You will witness the triumph of the human spirit over physical discomfort, a smile on almost every exhausted face as they approach the finish. There will be some who with renewed energy will sprint to the finish, leaving you to wonder how they did that after fifty miles. Others will limp across the finish contorted with a severe lean (the announcer calls them out as leaners) smiling as they complete their mission.

As you finish you are greeted with a large Finishers Medal hung over your neck causing multiple emotions to erupt instantly. If you are lucky, friends and family will be on hand to share in your triumph, your pride and relief that it is now behind you. You are never the same after that finish because now you realize there is an inner strength which can overcome the impossible. Seeking this strength, this understanding is why I run ultras and how I am coping with Cancer.

There are also those who don't finish, some underestimating the demands, injured or unfortunately just having one of those days. Still they are to be commended and respected for facing a challenge most are content to leave to others.

I sit here in awe of the JFK runners, looking forward to attending next years start and finish as a participant.

Finally, John Kippen finished the race, having the honor of the first JFK runner with two different livers. His challenge was one immense proportions, he looked exhausted at the finish but you know what.......... he was smiling.

Well Done John

Mike

Grateful

I am grateful for many things these days, small things that are often overlooked and taken for granted in particular.

I am grateful to my wife, Susan, who when awakened at one thirty this morning instantly attended to my “burning feet”.

I am grateful that I could make the start of the JFK to run up South Mountain with John Kippen.

I am grateful that as I drove home the sun poked it's head over the mountain pointing the way back home, simply spectacular and wonderful that I could enjoy it.

This could go on for some time but I think you all get it, so I ask one thing of everybody. Find one every day activity you take for granted and think how grand it really is. It may be the smell of that first cup of coffee brewing in the pot, enjoy it.

Happy Birthday Trish, I love you !

Mike

JFK Tomorrow

Round five is complete and as strange as it may sound I think it has so far been easier on me then the previous two. Some of the side effects are worse, the sensitivity to cold and the first taste thing are just plain nasty. Eye issues are preset and a trip to the Optometrist proved inconclusive, further testing will need to be conducted to determine if problems in my right eye are being caused by the Chemo or if it is early signs of Macular Degeneration.

Tomorrow is the forty ninth running of the JFK 50 miler; this should have been my ninth. Though I will not be running I will be at the starting line at five A.M. to accompany John Kippen to the top of South Mountain. John is an inspiration, he underwent a liver transplant earlier in the year and has come light years to get into shape to run this race. After reaching South Mountain I will walk back to the start to wish some of my seven A.M. starter friends luck.

It will be cold so I will show up with multiple sets of gloves, hand warmers and a full face mask, I should be OK.

Well I need to get ready for tomorrow so I'm cutting it short.

Mike

Chair X5

An excellent appointment with the Oncologist with a possibility that I may indeed be done after six rounds of chemotherapy. Should this occur it may allow me to have my surgeries before year end leaving 2012 as a year of recovery and rebuilding. A lot of this will hinge on the availability of Dr. Berg to perform the operation at FMH.

Dr Goldstein was highly concerned about the pain I had experienced in my eyes following the last infusion and wants me to see an optometrist as soon as possible. He recently went through laser surgery to correct a condition which seriously could have impacted his vision so he is very "in tune" with vision concerns.

My blood work came back and though my counts have fallen they are still good. I am most pleased with my red blood cell count, although low, it is higher than after my second treatment.

Looks like another forty-five minutes in the chair and then home for desert. Even if things don't work out as I hope, I will leave here in a fine mood.

Keep fingers crossed for me...... Mike

Rosaryville

This past Thursday afternoon, just as if someone had flipped a switch I started feeling human again.

Friday morning I had Reiki with Dee and Lorette. How can thirty minutes pass so quickly yet renew me physically, mentally and recently spiritually ? I doubt I'll ever be able to answer that question.

Earlier in the week I had doubts about my ability and sanity in heading to the Rosaryville 50K. I felt horrible, my hands and feet burned and fifty degree temperatures were cold enough to generate pins and needles in my hands. It would be so much easier to simply stay in my nice warm bed Saturday morning, certainly justified by the poisons circulating in my body. It was going to be cold at the start, it would be a long day and of course I was doing to DNF anyway. (Did Not Finish). I could almost talk myself into it yet I knew I would hate myself if I had done so.

Rosaryville State Park is in Upper Marlboro MD about an hour and a half drive from Frederick. With Packet Pickup starting at six thirty, the race kicking off at eight we left at five AM to give us plenty of leeway should we get lost or run into unexpected traffic. The race itself consists of a three quarter mile road run leading to a trail-head, three ten mile loops on trail and then back on the road to the finish.

It was cold at the start of the race; I was concerned but with a hand warmer in each hand the stingers never materialized. My pace was a nice slow twelve minute jog, noway fast enough to cause heavy breathing to sting my throat. Arriving on the trail I knew we were in for a real treat, these trails were the Neiman Marcus, Ritz- Carlton of trails, nothing like the rocky, root ridden trails of my backyard.

There was another pleasant surprise, about two miles on the trail I could see the start. My plan had been to run one ten mile loop followed by a second if I felt exceptional. I now had a revised strategy, I would run one full loop, start the second and “bail” for a twelve mile run if I was feeling poorly.

Feeling poorly never happened, yet as I got closer to the start I decided twelve would be enough. I could continue, however without a base of long runs I realized that somewhere around eighteen miles I might be a mess with four more miles to go. With Chemo coming on Monday it was an easy decision.

I felt physically great as I approached the race director to turn in my number; perhaps as the first DNF of the day. Certainly I'm not proud of that yet I was content with my decision. Now, without any fatigue, soreness or stiffness I could change into dry clothes and await the return of my friends Larry and Steve. How great would it be to see them finish I didn't know at the time but as each appeared it was truly exciting. Steve finished in a blazing four hours thirty eight minutes winning the fifty to fifty-nine year old age group. Larry with a 50K PR of six hours six minutes, not bad for someone who had expressed concern earlier in the week if he was ready. I am so glad I did not listen to the “voice” telling me, “Just Stay in Bed Mike, it's OK” .

Like most Sunday mornings I laced up the shoes and headed to Hamburg Road for a nice five mile trail run. For the past few years I've logged my mileage in a spreadsheet, as I started the year I entered a two thousand mile goal, a mere three hundred miles more than last year. As I logged the twelve miles of Rosaryville the spreadsheet calculated slightly more then one thousand miles run, completing my revised goal of one thousand miles.

I am nervous about this next treatment, perhaps I'll handle this one well but if side effects keep intensifying there is little doubt at some point I may be a complete mess. Send some positive “vibes” my way if you think about it.

Sixty-Six Bottles of Beer on the Wall...... Mike

Four Month Anniversity

Yesterday marked four months since surgery, can't say the time flew by although it is hard to believe it's been that long.

This is “Recovery Week” from chemo, I would like to report that I'm feeling great but the truth is that the side effects have been more intense and have lasted longer than before. How ironic that the 5-FU makes my hands and feet feel like they are burning, yet relief from a cool towel is not possible due to the cold Hyper-Sensitivity caused by the Oxaliplatin.

Oxaliplatin is messing with me in other ways, sometimes, for no apparent reason my resting heart rate, normally in the fifties or low sixties will jump to eighty beats per minute. My respiration will jump and for several minutes I'll feel like I'm on a jog though I am sitting down. The Oxaliplatin fogs my head and screws me up emotionally. Finally, I think it's responsible for the minor nose bleeds I've had this week. 

My weight has been all over the board these past few days, this past Friday I weighed in at one hundred fifty four pounds, yesterday and today one hundred forty five.

Based upon how I've felt I'm not looking forward to my next set of blood counts. I imagine they may be falling faster then the Dow is today, currently, as I write, down 363 points.

I did manage to get out Monday and Tuesday for three mile trail runs, we are having fantastic fall weather with afternoon temps hitting the mid-sixties. Today, even though it's warm I've elected to cut firewood instead of running. Hopefully this will "Save my Feet" somewhat for the weekend 50k trail run. As far as cutting firewood is concerned, I am pleased to report that I fell a large tree within inches of where I intended. The crash however scarred the daylights out of poor Sue who was working in the office. 

I am tying to remain upbeat and in good spirits..... Mike

Paying Attention

If there is one lesson I need to pound into my head it's that it is imperative to pay attention and not forget that I need to stay on top of Chemotherapy.

I forgot on Saturday and paid for it on Sunday.

Saturday was a full day with Rugby in the morning and a March of Dimes Trail run in the afternoon. Not to make excuses but dealing with an Ileostomy requires that I watch what I eat or drink prior to venturing outside of the comfort and convenience of my home and office. Before heading up to Mount Saint Mary's I had a half a cup of coffee and an Ensure. Thinking the Rugby “Halves” were thirty minutes I calculated plenty of available time to view the game, make it home and to the March of Dimes Trail Run to assume duties as a volunteer.

Needless to say I was wrong, I was there to watch the “A” side game, “A” side halves are forty minutes.

My nephew would be playing in the second half so I stretched my time, staying until the last possible moment. Nothing I could do next except to head straight for the race, no lunch, no fluids, no common sense. As the Boy Scout Motto proclaims, “Be Prepared”, I was not.

Chemotherapy requires me to drink at least two to three quarts of water a day, returning home mid-afternoon I had hardly downed more then a pint. I am embarrassed to admit that a few beers was not a suitable substitute for my hydration needs and I most likely fell into a state of slight dehydration.

For the very first time, the Sunday morning trail run resulted in a bust. The morning was cold, (high twenties) I was ready with double gloves and hand-warmers. I felt fine but within a half mile I started gasping for breath even as we ran at warn up pace. Gasping caused stinging in my throat and only through breathing through my nose would it stop. I stopped.

Those who can't run, walk and clear trail, that was my new mission. I managed to cover about four and a half miles running some of the last mile. (it had warmed up by then).

The rest of my day was spent on the couch sucking down as much fluids as possible. (No Beer). I felt lousy and even an afternoon walk, always my salvation failed. As an added consequence of my stupidity, I missed a Sunday evening choral concert Patrick was in. Susan said it was wonderful.

Maybe one day I'll grow up ..................... hope not.

Mike

Round Four is History

The Glass is half full as I have completed the fourth round of Chemotherapy.

Yes, I fell like crap right now but from everything I've read “crap” is good ! Considering that I have no fatigue (I'm not even taking naps), I'm still out there walking, running and my taste is still hyper-improved I'm blessed. So what if the evening glass of red wine needs some microwave action to warm it up beyond room temperature, the vapor the wine sends off in the glass is great in itself.

The Hyper-Sensitivity to cold is getting worse as are muscle cramps. Yet even with this there are experiences to be had and lessons to learn. Let me set the scene.......

--------------------------------
Yesterday I was unhooked from my 5-FU infusion pump at about three thirty, at five I was at the trailhead to meet my running buddies (they would run I would walk). Even though I was wearing gloves and the temperature had not crossed below the fifty degree mark my hands soon were buzzing and I found myself with both hands planted firmly under my armpits.

As soon as I had an opportunity to get back on Hamburg Road to return to the car I took it. With my hands planted in my armpits I imagined someone walking in a straight jacket, although in reality I must have just looked really cold. (Which I was not)

It's surprising how many cars and trucks passed me as I walked along, most sport utility vehicles, late model pickups and all wheel drives. Yet it was the oldest and most beat-up pickup that passed, turned around, drove past and turned around again. “Hey Man, You Look Cold, Want a Ride?”, was the question the driver directed to me as he pulled up.

The lesson, Compassion is not what you have, it's what you carry in your soul. Who ever you are, thanks guy.

Mike

Seven Seconds in Hell

Returning home from the Cancer Center, I was waiting for the home care nurse to hook me up to "Desert" ( My forty six hour infusion of 5FU). Speaking on the phone with a friend I had a slight cough, just the type you would have to clear your throat.

Immediately I felt discomfort in both eyes, discomfort quickly increased to blinding pain, the telephone dropped out of my hand to the desk and for an seven seconds I held my head with both hands begging for it would stop. It did and Thankfully it hasn't happened again.

Waking up at four AM this morning I tried to remember if I had ever experienced similar pain. For those who know me I could write volumes but I can narrow it down quite a bit.

       Splitting Firewood with a sledge and wedge, the sledge whacking the wedge, launching it solidly to a shin.

        Burns, not just the "Standard" hot water, hot pan, no a rock solid first or second degree

Not even the time I had to have a friend use a pair of pliers to pull a broken tree limb out of the top of my head (he had to pull real hard) compared to the intensity of pain I had yesterday.

Whew.......... Mike



     

Just Stuff

Random thoughts today.

People tell me, "Mike You Look Good". These are good words to hear, especially now at Halloween to know the "Crypt Keeper" has no worries of me replacing him. (Yet). These words however have me thinking. "Before Cancer, I must have been one Hell of a Good Looking Man". Why the blazes didn't anyone tell me?

I'm at the Infusion Center at have great news to report, my white blood cell counts have improved and my red blood cell count is only slightly below normal. I will continue therefore to indulge the weird cravings I've been having. Sunday evening it was black olives, not simply a whole can of black olives but the juice they are packed in as well. Those were followed up with three pieces of dark chocolate and a nice glass of red wine.

Rick O'Donnel was in a chair next to me. Rick is another runner battling cancer except this is his second time around. His disease can only be managed yet he remains positive and upbeat, Rick is a true inspiration to me and others.

Saturday afternoon Randy showed up to enjoy our early "Winter Wonderland", instead of running shoes, hiking boots and snow pants were the dress of the day. A couple or few miles of pushing through snow and bent over trees required a beer run afterwards. Stocked with beer, corn chips and new tires on Randy's truck neither of us really wanted to return directly home. It was decided that the back roads up the mountain would be an adventurous route and as we plowed though snow, creeks and fallen branches the truck bed accumulated empty beer cans as the bag of chips slowly disappeared. Good Lord that was fun!

I have started taking a drug to counteract some of the side effects caused by the Oxiplatin. I am always hesitant on taking ANYTHING but as I read all the possible side effects I came across what follows below.

Even in low doses, Gabapentin causes sensations of reduced acute pain, reduced anxiety and even a tendency to become overly social and talkative. Larger doses can cause the user to become numb and even fully insensate. Although it is widely regarded as having little or no potential for misuse, it is often a misused drug in Canadian Northern communities and among inmates in California State prisons.

Bring it on baby I'm ready !

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy and Enjoy Your Day...... Mike

Winter Wonderland

Sunday I awoke to blue skies and heavy wet snow covering everything in sight. There would be no possibility for a trail run but I hoped that some adventurous runners would slap on hiking boots and come to blaze the early “Winter Wonderland”.

At eight fifteen, I realized trail blazing would be my domain and mine alone. The walk lasted about forty five minutes covering a couple of miles, travel was difficult with snow laden trees and Mountain Laurel blocking the way, however, it was spectacular. Hand warmers inserted in my gloves kept any stinging away and I became quite fast at getting my right mitten off and back on when I needed to work the camera. 

My brother and sister's visit was canceled on Saturday but they decided come Sunday, I'm sure they spent more time on the road then at the house but I was grateful they make the trek. Mom and Dad also showed up for an even shorter visit later in the afternoon. I only wish I felt better then I did as I was having an “off day”. It probably would have been smart to excuse myself for a quick twenty minute nap but I didn't want to do that seeing how short the my time would be with them anyway. Never the less my spirits were lifted and this will help me through the next round of chemo.

I need to keep telling myself that this next treatment will be the halfway point and it will simply be a “countdown” from there, easy to say. Countdowns are good, tomorrow....79 bottles of beer on the wall.

Mike 

October "Madness"

Just as the “Retail” Christmas seems to start earlier each year, winter seems to following right in line. Sitting here in the office with four inches of wet heavy snow all ready blanketing trees, ground and roadway I'm thinking the song “I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas” could be modified to “I'm Dreaming of a White Halloween”; sorry faithful “Trick and Treaters”

Power is out, wind is blowing but with the Generator humming along and an ample supply of firewood we should be set for a lazy “Not Going To Get out of My PJ's” day. Unfortunately this freak snowstorm means that the visit I expected from my sister Cathy and brother Bill has been postponed or possibly canceled all together.

Yesterday, just before I set out for a Reiki session Larry emailed me wondering if I was interested in joining him on a run on the C&O Canal. I knew I wanted to get a run in because of the impending weather and had planned on my five mile trail loop; I “Begged Off” asking Larry if I could get back to him later.

My Reiki sessions are nothing short of amazing, although not as stressed as two weeks ago, I need and look to these sessions as a way to prepare myself for the next chemo treatment. Dee and Lorette once again “worked Their Magic”, and as I walked out of the building I felt “Light on My Feet”, ready to join Larry. Returning home the “Deal Was Sealed” as two packages awaited me. My brother Bill attends weekly men's church group meetings and a new member, Jim Spivey, former Olympian, still holding the US record for the fastest 1500 meter run by an American in an Olympic final (1984) had sent me a new pair of road shoes and technical shirt. Jim works as a College Team Representative for ASICS and upon hearing of my battle sent these to me, If encouragement was the goal, it worked.... Thanks Jim.

I called Larry, “I have two questions, what time and how far?”.

“Ten miles”, was the answer , drawing in a breath I wondered if it might be a be a little much. No matter, the beauty of the canal training runs are they always are out and backs, meaning I could turn around at any point. My longest run since surgery has been eight and a half trail miles which included walking. A ten mile canal run just doesn't “justify” walking so this would be interesting.

Even though Larry “sold” this run as slow, it was still ten miles of a constant pace, something I have not done in many months. At four miles out I thought, “In For A Penny, In For A Pound”. I am happy to report it was a good decision and through nine miles I felt great, only when I bent over to remove a broken branch from the trail did I feel tightness and muscles reminding me, “It's been a While”. Ten miles was perfect, at the end I was tired but a good tired, the type one can appreciate after a good workout. It was also a huge confidence builder for the November 12^th 50K.

The only negative comments I need to make have to do with the side effects of chemo. There is no doubt that they are getting worse with each treatment and last longer after infusion is completed. I have little doubt that after a couple more of these I will be limited by outdoor exposure.

The psychological impact of this also becomes more difficult. I try not to fixate on what's ahead but it's hard not to. Imagine if you were told that in order to enhance your life, every two weeks, for four months you would walk a dark alley where four guys waited to beat the living daylights out of you. Each beating would be measured with the intensity increasing with each stroll. I certainly don't think of my health care professionals as thugs, they are there to cure me, to add me to the roster of Cancer Survivors but this is as hard an alley as I've ever had to walk.

This next treatment will place me half way through this adventure, the glass will be “Half Full”, and, as one of my runner friends said, “Mike, I'm sure you know how to count down”.

We'll as I finish this up it's 11:00 A.M., the “Official” time that it was supposed to start snowing, we have six inches of snow on the ground, the wind is blowing and our power is still off. Like I said earlier, a Great Day to stay in the PJ's.

In the Words of the Great Philosopher and the “Singing Fish” I have in the basement. “Don't Worry, Be Happy” ..... Mike

PS> I can never thank you enough Susan and Maggie, your love, support and patience will see me through.

Peak Color

Sunday morning was perfect for lacing up the shoes and heading out for a trail run. The air was crisp and though cool, it was warmer on the summit then in the valleys where frost was scrapped from widows. “My Woods,” are at peak color and even though fallen leaves made footing tricky it was one of the most pleasurable runs I've had in a while.

It's hard to describe how I feel as I start recovering from the effects of chemotherapy but it comes in “bursts” when all of a sudden I feel almost normal. This happened twice yesterday during my run, once after just a mile or so and then again after we had gone five miles. It's not that I notice I'm feeling good, rather I realize I'm running quickly and effortlessly.

I wish I could report that the feeling lasts but it is fleeting. In addition, for the first time I experienced acute neuropathy, numbness caused by exposure to cold. After each Sunday run, our group typically hangs around to discuss training, races, equipment and just BS. Even though it was in the fifties, I was wearing gloves but never the less my fingers started to tingle and then go numb. Returning home, it took a half hour of holding a warm glass of water between my hands before feeling returned. Guess I will be heading to a ski shop to find mittens featuring built in hand warmer pockets to keep my hands "Toasty Warm".

The rest of the day included office work, a good conversation with Joey, firewood cutting and even some football watching. By five o'clock in the afternoon I was tired but it was a “Good Tired”. By eight-thirty in the evening I was ready for a restful evening in bed which was not to come. I woke every hour needing to empty the ostomy bag to such a degree I was highly concerned about dehydration. I drank a quart or more water during the night, most likely keeping me out of trouble.

Seeing how the evening went I am pleasantly surprised that I feel decent this morning. Could be I just realized that there are only eighty-seven bottles of beer left on the wall ?

Stay Strong....Stay Happy......Enjoy ........ Mike

Round Three - Twenty More Hrs to Go

Well boys and girls I sit at my desk with the whirl of the pump, every thirty seconds or so sending another shot of 5-FU into my chest. Yummy!

This round of chemo on balance seems to be going better than the last but of course I'm not done yet. It may simply be that I'm just more prepared to cope with the side effects and continuous hang over feeling. Last night a new and exciting side effect presented itself, intense calf cramps. As the first one came on I watched my calf muscle have definition that would rival any body builder or even Larry Key's legs! It was really something to behold before I grabbed my leg and started yelling for it to stop.Today both calf muscles are are sore as if I had run a hard 50K.

I am excited to report that I am signed up for a 50K race on November 12^th. (The Rosaryville 50K) Susan just starred at me when I dropped that bombshell finally asking, “Your kidding, right?”. When I assured her I wasn't, I got a reluctant blessing after explaining the course consisted of three ten mile loops. In addition, I swore I would not push too hard and would stop after one or two loops if my body dictated so. A D.N.F. does not appeal to me in any way shape or form but the thought of just getting out there and being a part of the event is draw enough.

Some good news to post, my red blood cell count actually climbed up to being almost normal. On the down side my white blood cell count and the immune system are taking a hit but are still at levels where I can fight off infection. I'm washing my hands a lot these days and keeping out of public places as much as possible. Just anti-social me I guess.

Tuesday when I had my checkup with the Oncologist I had to tell him about the muscle tear or pull I did over the weekend. He advised me to take it easy and perhaps, “Not Cut Firewood for a while”. Well after I got home, waiting to be "Hooked Up"  I grew antsy and required some sort of physical activity to deal with it. Not having enough time to take a decent walk I decided to split firewood and was almost finished as the Home Care Nurse pulled into the driveway. BUSTED ! Hope I don't get “Ratted Out!” 

In my own way I complied, Hell, I wasn't cutting firewood only splitting it.

Be good, stay happy ....... Mike

A Hard Week

It was a hard week, several times I sat down to update my blog and each attempt ended the same, staring at a blank page with little enthusiasm or idea how to start.

Perhaps the most difficult challenge of the week was to understand how and why I was feeling the way I was. There were the physical aspects to contend with, the exam on Tuesday morning left me sore and unable to run until Saturday. Several patches of sores broke out on my head and I felt nervous and jumpy. My normal resting heart rate, typically in the high fifties or low sixties was in the seventies.

Mentally, I fought to keep my attitude upbeat but I was loosing the fight.

Friday morning, driving into Frederick for Reiki, my hands shook and my heart felt as though it was pounding out of my chest. Relaxation did not seem possible or probable but after thirty minutes with Dee I was able to turn a corner.

Saturday was cold and windy so for the first time I decided against running a race. Instead, I slept in running later in the day when it was warmer.

Yesterday I met my trail running buddies to run a slow but rewarding five mile loop followed by firewood cutting and a little football watching. Even had half of a steak for dinner which is the first steak I've had since August. (We will continue on a low meat diet)

Now for the “Bad news”, somewhere along the line, either when cutting, hauling or splitting firewood. I pulled or tore a muscle in my stomach just to the right of the main incision. If there is any “Good News” from this the damage is very isolated and only bothers me with certain movements. Through trial and error I found I could roll over in bed without pain by first bringing my knees towards my chest . Rolling over with legs straight was not a wise move.

So what will this week bring? Another chemo tomorrow with the expected “First Bite Blues” and Sensitivity to cold. I can handle that and more as long as I can keep my head together.

Congratulations Mel and Joe for your half Marathon performance!

Ninety Four Bottles of Beer on The Wall ....... Mike

Missing the Point

There is a report on the news this evening of a Marathoner who ran twenty miles, caught a bus, hid out until the lead runners passed and then got back on the course to finish third in the event. It's not the first time this has happened but right now I only have pity for the fool.

Prevailing through adversity requires strength, some find it in faith, others in family/friends, perhaps one's own internal makeup, work, and yes though running.

It's no surprise that running has be one of the important elements in how I am dealing with my ordeal. I am a beneficiary to the power of running, and now, as I cut back my expectations each run somehow becomes sweeter, an affirmation that  still I am. So how pathetic is it that that this Marathoner totally missed the point, it's not about winning (although that is pretty sweet), it's about the journey.

Ninety Eight Bottles of Beer on the Wall.

Mike

Numbers Game

My visit with Dr. Berg today confirmed my suspicion that surgery to reattach my colon will wait until Chemotherapy is completed. I'm not surprised but I am disappointed.

Perhaps it all becomes a numbers game to me now. Six more rounds of Chemotherapy (eighteen days), eighty-one days until the end of the year, ninety one days until my next appointment with Dr. Berg and then a week or two to get surgery scheduled? January something?

Like the song “ A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall” it may seem endless as you sing your way through it but eventually, mercifully, you arrive at the end.

So there you are ..... Mike

The Weekend

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Dr. Berg, and at this moment I am trying to prepare myself, if as I suspect, the operation to reconnect the “Plumbing” will be postponed until after chemotherapy is completed in December. Our original expectation was by Thanksgiving.... We'll see

The past weekend was packed with lot's of activity that started with the FMH (Frederick Memorial Hospital) Pink Ribbon Run for Breast Cancer. Feeling pretty good and with a warm morning I decided I could run it. Even before the race started good “vibes” were in the air. Walking up to register I heard a voice behind me yell, “Hey Mike Your Support Team is Here !” It was two of the Nurses who have been responsible for my Treatments at the FMH Cancer Center. With both of my arms around their shoulders we walked towards the starting line. Can a guy get luckier ?

I know I shouldn't have a thought about actually competing but what the hell, it's simply in my nature.

On the starting line I did what many runners do, look around for who you need to beat. Now I'm not cocky enough to be thinking about the overall results, but my age group, now that's a different story.

To my right was a guy in my age group sporting a “Pot Belly”, no problem there, even with chemo going on. To my left however I saw the “Trouble Maker”, lean and mean a natural looking running machine with Graying hair. Humm....

The gun goes off and within a minute my GPS shows a six thirty pace as I try to keep up with “Trouble Maker”. Even though I'm back to my seventh grade weight I realize that this pace simply will not be sustainable so I need to let him go. Who knows, maybe he'll burn out.

Some people would say the Baker Lake 5K course has hills but really, they are simply inclines that simply kicked my butt, I had to slow down; I felt like I was “Running At Altitude” a likely result of a dwindling red blood cell count.

Results, OK here it is, 23.29 good enough for 15^th overall and Second (as I suspected) in my age group. But that does not really indicate what I really got out of this race.

After the race there was a long line for the ladies room while the men's room, with it's broken lock stood empty. I suggested that the ladies make use of it as I would “stand guard”. As I attended to my new found duties I heard a woman laughing say “Well I'm a two time Hospice Reject”. There was a time in my life when I wouldn't have asked, but now, with most of my inhibitions gone I asked.

“I was supposed to die twice but I wouldn't. I've got forty percent of my stomach, a rebuilt bladder”,   lifting her tee-shirt up just a touch, “And a tumor that makes a sixty four year old look pregnant!” I told her I was fighting cancer as well to which she pulled off her wig and said. "Well at least you still have your hair (Naturally challenged as mine is.) She had just walked five kilometers, standing in line  laughing and smiling. She will never know it, but at that moment, what I have dealt with, what is ahead, became somewhat relative. I'll say it again, “You Women are far tougher then us men”

The rest of the weekend was chock full of other good events, including , seeing my Nephew play Rugby, my son Kevin perform, Patrick cutting the grass without my asking, a nice trail run, cutting firewood, great foot rubs from Maggie, my running friends Larry and Steve completing their 100K and 100 miler races and as always the love and support from Susan.

I am certainly am lucky man..... Mike

Battle Between The Ears

It's Friday and the weather could not be more perfect. Blue skies, warm days and chilly nights have been here for a few days and may hang around for a few more.

For the past nine years Fall has brought Marathons and Ultra Marathons, long back to back training runs with "clean" crisp morning air replacing heat and humidity. It became apparent yesterday that I may not be able to enjoy these mornings as I have in the past. Heading out wearing light gloves for a run it wasn't long before I could feel the Hyper-Sensitivity to the cold kicking in. Sticking my hands in the pocket of my vest helped but essentially I was done.

Hopefully this side effect from the Oxaliplatin will pass soon as I plan on running a local 5K and lead a short five mile trail run Sunday morning.

I did return later on in the day to meet my Thursday afternoon trail running friends, but even then, I had to cut my run short as the sun set and it started to get chilly.

Certainly it won't help to fixate on what might or might not be, I realize that, however the thought of not being able to enjoy my morning runs is as hard hitting as anything else I'm going through.

The battle in front of me will certainly be physical, I can handle that,  but it's what's going on between the ears that will be my hardest climb.

Cold Door Knob Blues

Whoa.......

It was cool morning here on the Mountain but I didn't think anything of it as I walked Maggie out to the School Bus. Returning to the house I grabbed the door knob, with no warning "painful electric pricks" shot from my fingers down my arm.

I can now join the ninety five percent of Oxaliplatin recipients who experience this sensation . Hopefully I'll be able to hold off on full blown neuropathy for at least a few more treatments. I'm experimenting with the FSTS (Shocking First Taste Syndrome). Last night I, in multiple steps, I was able to handle increasing strengths of diluted orange juice until, drum roll .......... with no water added  I avoided the sensation. It worked with coffee this morning but not with the hash brown. I'll take the discomfort rather then blend up my hash brown.

Last night Sue and I had a quiet thirty year wedding anniversary. To our surprise Maggie had found a lot of old pictures of Sue and I, spanning our dating and early baby years. These were laid out on the dining room table for us to enjoy. It was the highlight of the evening.

Later ...... Mike

Pump Me Up II

The intermittant wiring of the potrable pump sends another shot of 5-FU down the tube. It's been doing it's thing for a couple hours now with only another forty four to go.

The Oxaliplatin hasn't wasted any time showing it's hand. The "Shocking First Taste Syndrome" hence to be known on this blog as S.F.T.S. or SFTS for short has returned bigger and better then before. It's now a head shaking eye popping two or three seconds of pain followed by nothing.

The hyper sensisitivity to cold has not presented itself yet but a cold cup of apple juice at lunch time did bring some strange tingling feeling to the back of my throat.

Time will tell but I'm optimistic that round two won't be too bad.

Mike

Chair II

Today marks thirty years that Susan and I have been married. How the hell she ever stayed with me this long may be the stuff that "Unsolved Mysteries" may profile on a future show.

Thirty year anniversaries are often celebrated with Pearls, unfortunately Pearls simply are not in the budget so a hand made card given to Sue will have to suffice. I did mention, that Mom has offered to spend a couple of days with Maggie so Sue and I could get away. This probably won't happen until sometime next year but I'm sure time will pass faster then I can imagine.

Judy, my nurse for today was kind enough to take a photograph of me sitting in "The Chair" which I will add to the post sometime later today. Having been through this process once before I'm not as intimidated but still it's disconcerting to watch the Oxaliplatin dripping down from the IV stand.

I can't help but wonder if I'll tolerate this second treatment as well as I did the first. My CBC (complete blood count) showed that my red blood cell count is now below normal. This was quite a shock for me as my counts were quite good as recently as this past Wednesday. The cumulative effects of the drugs will at some point rear their ugly heads, I have no doubt of that but I'm hopeful much of the worse will wait until the last couple.

To my right two people have come and gone, both of whom are near the end of their treatments. Across from me is a woman who has been joined by her husband receiving her first treatment. It is an emotional moment made easier with his presence. Once again the prevailing mood of the room is upbeat despite the seriousness of our situations. It is a tribute to the human condition that in the face of adversity so many here continue to smile as they endure.

Later ...... Mike

Patrick's First 5K

For twenty eight minutes and some odd seconds today I was no longer a Cancer patient, instead I was a proud father running with a son in his first 5K race. I have run many races over the years, most of which I have forgotten but this will always hold a special spot in my mind and soul.

Patrick did great, knowing how to pace oneself is perhaps the most difficult aspect of running your first race and we almost “nailed it”. Our first mile started slow because of the crowd but once weaved through the masses we managed to log about a nine minute mile. Perhaps I pushed a little too hard, running the second next mile in eight and a half minutes. At two miles Patrick looked good and his breathing was well under control. With just under a mile to go we exited left the C&O canal running a hill through a series of switchbacks. We had covered more the half of the hill when Patrick felt a calf starting to cramp. We ending up using a fast walk to complete the hill the resumed our run to the finish.

As we crossed the finish line I grabbed Patrick’s hand and lifted it above our heads. I don't think I have ever purchased a race day photograph before, but, in this case, if the photographer caught the moment I'll be ordering one. It was just so awesome.

Sue, Maggie and a couple of Patrick’s' Shepherd classmates cheered us as we finished and Sue took the photograph of the two of us.

People have often asked me “Why Do You Run?”. Today I can add a new reason, “To Forget About Cancer”; having been blessed today for twenty eight minutes and some odd seconds with absolute forget-fullness.

Mike

My day has started well, beginning with Reiki administered to me by Dee and Lorette. It is amazing that in the span of just one half of an hour how much better both physically and mentally I feel at the end of the session. When I went in this morning both my hands and feet were still bothering me from the initial round of chemotherapy; when I left my feet and hands were almost 100%. I am very grateful to both of them and relish the role of, as Dee calls me, “Teachers Pet”.

I was going to take the day off running wise but I just checked my running log and I have ninety eight point four miles logged this month. Normally that wouldn't bother me but since I logged ninety nine point two nine miles the month before and because I've been watching reruns of “Monk” I feel compelled to lace up the shoes later this afternoon and run one point six miles to have an even one hundred miles logged for the month.

Tonight Sue, Maggie and I will head to Shepherd University to meet Patrick and pick up race packets. After-wards we'll head into Shepherdstown for a quick bite to eat. Patrick and I are going to run a 5K tomorrow morning, his first, I'm thrilled and looking forward to doing the race with my son.

Mike 

CBC II

CBC (Complete Blood Count)

A happy surprise today at the doctor's office, my blood counts are really good. For anyone who understands this stuff my HCT (Red Blood Cell Count)  was 42.7% up from 41.9% from my first test.Factors such as hydration will affect these results but at least I didn't plummet! (Normal Range for a male is 42% to 52%)

This presents a problem as I already "Blamed" my Sunday run performance on blood cells. UGH, I need to come up with another Michael "O" theory. Perhaps we should try this one... Hey dummy, you ran eight miles on Saturday, your on chemo, not sleeping well... what the hell do you expect!

As I waited my turn for my "Blood Letting" I sat next to an older woman awaiting her husband, he was getting his blood tested as well. When he came out of the cubicle I asked him, " Is this Fine Looking Lady Yours?", She smiled, he affirmed she was,  to which I said "Your a Lucky Man" to which he said, "Naw, she's a damn lucky Woman".

On other notes, I slept great last night with one stretch of just about three hours. For some that might seem like misery but it's the best I've had in months. Probably the reason I had a fantastic run this morning.

Such a good day I'm going to allow myself the pleasure of an Penn Brewery Oktoberfest Lager Beer.... Open....Sip......Damn that's good !

PS>  While I was at the Cancer Center I saw the nurse (Teressa) who is assigned to me for the duration of treatments. She asked if I ran this past weekend, when I told her I put in almost sixteen she looked at me and said, "Your Not Normal". Yeah I've heard that before. 

PPS> I have a WONDERFUL NURSE ADVOCATE at Care First, Marsha if you ever read this you are the best!

Tuesday Blues

Strange day, at times I felt bad and then just as quick as that I'd feel bad. Nothing horrible but just completely out of sorts. Good thing it rained most of the day because it gave me a good excuse to just hang out.

The tongue, jaw brain freeze thing is gone but my hands and feet are still sensitive. The inside of my mouth feels odd but thank goodness no sores. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a couple of evenings so that my be the primary reason I feel odd.

Looking forward to Saturday and running the Freedom Run 5K with Patrick.

A friend of mine is having Surgery tomorrow, Lynn you are going to do great. I tried to leave a comment on your blog but it error-ed out on me.

Mike

Weekend

It's been an "Up and Down" weekend for me. The side effects from the chemo are starting to wane but they are still there. Yesterday I ran eight miles, felt well when I got home but all that vanished after I downed a Whey Protein shake. There was an almost immediate reaction of nausea which left me on the couch for two hours. About mid-afternoon I was feeling much better but my hands and feet got pretty sensitive.

When I went to bed Sue rubbed my feet with a moisturizing cream and with my feet sticking out of the covers all night they felt much better in the morning.

This morning I met my trail running buddies for a little over seven miles. Larry and I ran together although I was forced to walk more of the hills then I expected or wanted. Running up the hills felt as though I was running at altitude with reduced oxygen at every breath. I know that the drugs I'm taking attack the production of red blood cells but I did not think it would be this quickly. I'll know more on Wednesday when I get a CBC (Complete Blood Count).

 Mike

Stink Bugs

The arrival of Fall has brought the first serious wave of Stink Bugs crawling all over the office in their bid to share our space over winter. I have heard rumors that it may be an "Epic" year for these pests, boy I hope that's wrong.

Last year, in the office, Stink Bugs crawled through the exhaust pipe of our heater, eventually falling into the blower motor. Our first attempt to turn on the heat resulted in a call to the serviceman. Pulling the blower motor exposed hundreds of insects jamming the motor. (I placed a screen over the pipe).

Stink Bugs will get into any and everything including sealed boxes. Last year a client from Chicago called me to inquire why I was shipping boxes "Full of Bugs".
Since then I open every box prior to shipment just to check.

Mike

Side Effects

I have little doubt that I handled this first round of chemo quite well but that is not to say I escaped "unscathed". Yesterday, sometime mid-afternoon I felt incredibly restless and just plain "odd".

Of course my remedy would be a good short walk in the woods. About a half mile into my walk I started feeling much better, alternating the walk with a slow jog; I managed to cover four miles. Returning home I felt better but my head seemed to be fogged. The benefits of the walk would not last too long.

The evening was just miserable, I'm glad no-one called since my attitude seemed to migrate downhill as fast my physical condition. It's hard to describe how I felt, I know I've felt worse but this was not pleasant. I have areas under my beard that appear sun-burnt and the sides of my head hurt as well. Remember how it feels to fall off your bike and brake with your hands? That good old road rash feeling, that pretty much describes how my hands felt. Thank goodness my feet seem to be ok.

I was in bed by eight-thirty and perhaps with the aid of a single Tylenol I fell asleep quickly.

Another day, Susie and I started with a nice walk, I'm feeling better and even though it's raining outside it's a much sunnier day.

Mike

First Completed Cycle

At three this afternoon the pump started buzzing and beeping indicating that the 250 mg of 5-FU was gone. At five thirty the home call nurse arrived to separate me from my contraption.

FREEDOM ! How sweet to be able to move about without having to think about managing the pump. I'll be able to shower tonight and jog (weather permitting) tomorrow.

This first round went well with little side effects to report other than the "first shock" I get when I put any food in my mouth. The top of my head has developed some sensitive areas and occasionally I feel just a bit "out of it". There has been some minor irritation to my hands.

Perhaps I'm pushing the envelope but I'm going to listen to some old James Taylor music with a cold beer.

One down, seven to go my friends......... Mike

Round Two

Maureen, the home call nurse just left after attaching my pump with my second cocktail of the day. I now have a stylish looking shoulder bag, to hang around with for the next forty-six hours. Certainly walkable, but running will be out of the question while I'm wearing it.

Finally a pleasant surprise in that it's only forty-six hours instead of forty-eight.

Also, I am experiencing the first side effect probably from the Oxaliplatin. After we left the FMH Treatment Center we went to the WEIS to pick up some anti-nausea medication. Sue also purchased other items including a bag of potato chips which I helped myself too. The first chip, the second it hit my tongue, sent a shock wave from the back of my mouth down into my jaw which was actually painful. The sensation lasted only a second, and only happened with the first chip. When we got home Sue made me some soup and once again the FIRST spoonful had the same effect.

How strange, I have read so much about side effects and no where did I see this one, perhaps if it keeps up and I document it they can name a syndrome or side effect after me, the "O" factor? 

One other thing, sorry Susie for my antics walking out of the treatment center this afternoon. I acted like I got the "twitches", in retrospect a nasty thing to do to my concerned wife but it made me laugh and eventually I think I gleaned a wry smile from Susie as well.

"O"

In the Chair

How surreal it seems that I have just started Chemotherapy, Theresa the RN helping me today has explained all about the drugs, possible side effects and with a one, two, three...... deep breath, inserted the Huber needle into the port.

The IV stand holds three bags of fluid connected to a pump which making a gurring sound as it pushes fluids to the port. In one chair next to me is a woman who the nurses are having some trouble finding a vien to administrate her drugs. Two chairs over is another woman who has lost her hair. To my right is another woman who apparently had a bad experience on her last visit. Even though what goes on here is serious business the mood generally seems upbeat among the staff and patients as well. I can't help but think that I have entered a sort of underground, one that I never gave second thought to until today.

I would not be as brash to say this is my only concern, but looking at three bags of fluid hanging from the IV stand conviences me that at some point I'm going to have to pee like a race horse. Hopefully, after not during treatment.

It's 11:30 right now, hopefully I'll be done in another hour to head home for "Round Two", my forty-eight hour cocktail mixture.

Later........... Mike

Susie's Race Update

It would be pretty difficult to find a more perfect morning to run a race then the one we had today.

Sue and I arrived early enough that I could get a few minutes of warmup. For the first time in over two months my Garmin was set to display the actual running pace.

During warmup I tested the legs at different paces to see what I might expect out of myself. Based upon what I felt I told Sue to expect me back at the finish in about twenty four minutes. I was somewhat disappointed, I really thought I might run faster as a "lite-weight". I'm not complaining, but with little training, most at twelve minute miles what can you really expect.

I don't want to give a "Blow by Blow" description of the race, all I'll say is that I was four seconds off my prediction with a 24:04. Kristin Shaw, who we sponsored, finished second female with a blazing 20:10. The only mistake I made was during the second mile when I backed off my pace on a hill, I don't think I really needed to, after all I have "No Ass" anymore.


As I closed in on three miles I was pretty sure I had passed the only guy in my age group (with the exception of a fifty-three year old who would run under twenty minutes). Looking behind me I was surprised to see a lot of space between me and the next runner. I knew at that point I might just place after all.

The bottom line, I ended up winning the 50 -59 year old age group award. In a "fast field" I would not have had a chance but sometimes it pays to just show up and give it your best.

Thanks Dr. Berg for getting me into this race, how wonderfully strange that I ended up being the "ringer" you suggested I might be.

Race "Jitters"

Funny, this evening I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to do in a five kilometer race tomorrow.

I'm not a snob about 5K races, I enjoy running in them but I don't really consider myself a competitive runner at that distance. Slow, "old" guys run distance.

This time is different; to be blunt "I've got no caboose to hold me back", I'm back to my high school weight. This fact was quite telling for me today when I went out for my usual five mile trail loop. I decided I'd run it all and did so in fifty two minutes. Some people would immediately say, "so what, thats over ten minutes a mile". Well any run under a hour on that loop is a good workout and I didn't even push that hard.

When I signed up for the race I figured I'd walk it, then thought that I might jog some, then jogging then entire thing and now I'm thinking about racing it. I don't know, perhaps I need a checkup from the neck up.

Later............ Mike

Treasure Amongst Junk

We've all been there, live someplace long enough and suddenly you realize that you have an incredible amount “junk” which has filled every closet nook, basement corner and god help us, spare rooms.

On occasion we might vow to tackle the demon and in good faith we set out on our mission. At this point it becomes a battle of wills, the will of the junk and the will of the junkie. There will be casualties on both sides, some junk will be tossed or perhaps slated for donation but often the “lore of the junk” forces us to repack and store for “future” consideration.

Perhaps momentous events are required to turn the tide in our favor.

Consider moving to a new house, moving somehow gives us the courage to hold a yard sale, drive to goodwill (multiple times) or rent that dumpster that might just fill to the brim.

In my case, the illness is allowing time to poke around in my boxes of junk. So far the plan has been a "two- fer"; two boxes of junk consolidated to a single. (The single cannot be twice as large as the individuals)  It's working fairly well but it's hard. For example; to a non-golfer this will have little meaning but to find a sleeve of “New” Titliest Balata Golf Balls in the bottom of a box elicited feelings of “wow, I need to play a round of golf with these one day”. Please Note: I gave up on them fifteen years ago, what thought process took over, I can't even imagine.

This is just like T-Shirts, how come I can't throw away my “Cellar Dwellers” college softball shirt with my favorite number nine planted on the back. Number nine, kids don't bother to understand but many years ago (1967/1968) there was a TV show, “The Prisoner” staring Patrick McGoohan that was a precursor to “Lost” . Each beginning of the show started with McGoohan introduced to some figure, perhaps "Number Two",  who told McGoohan his number was number nine. To which, McGoohan would respond, “I am not a number, I am a free man”. It's been my favorite number ever since.

While I'm on the subject of junk perhaps I'll take liberty to offer my “incomplete” junk categories. Please send suggestions to help me fill in this list as it's far from complete.

1. Re-gifted Junk, more prevalent early in our lives, typically arriving as gifts form fiends or family. If they didn't re-gift it then it falls into the category of “What Were They Thinking”. Wine glasses are special favorites; who wouldn't want to “break out” that set of white wine glasses showing a half naked beach gal to savor that fine glass of chardonnay.
2. What Were They Thinking; more likely because you got “drawn” in the family Christmas gift exchange or someone simple made no effort (but felt compelled) to get you a birthday or Christmas Gift. Lordy, Lordy look whose forty / fifty gifts fall into this category as well.

3. What were we (I) thinking; I say we because these are purchases that looked good at the time but proved their junk status by reaming in the dark crevasses of the home.

4. Just junk, all right this is a “cop out” so I don't have to think about it anymore. This category includes such favorites as wedding announcements, birth pictures, Holiday / Birthday Cards, Old kid stuff and so on.

So what about Treasure? Well amongst the boxes of junk that were to be consolidated I found two “Treasures”.

Both cards from the kids. (Images below) > The “Bear” was the cover of a Fathers Day Card from my Daughter Maggie.

Proof that you just can't throw out “Carte Blanche” even if it would be easier.

Later ..... Mike 

Temptation

A mountain biker I know passed along a link to an inspiring blog belonging to Jennifer Hanks, a thirty five year old professional mountain biker fighting breast cancer. Reading through her blog I have come to the conclusion, once again, that women are simply tougher then men.

Once again I feel as though things seem to fall in place for me as I have been more worried about the coming chemotherapy treatments than the radiation or surgeries. I will try to use her ideas about working through chemotherapy as I progress through this.

The morning today was fantastic, one of those cool mornings with a hint of fall in the air. Wrapping my midsection like a mummy I was able to head out and run with very little discomfort from the port.

I only ran about two and a half miles on the trail since I will meet the boys at the Hamburg Trail-head later this afternoon for four or five more. I did not have my Garmin with me but there were times when I felt like I was moving along quite respectfully.

Perhaps the only “Down Side” to my run this morning is “found temptation” to push hard at the Susie's Cause 5K this coming Sunday, don't worry I'll play it smart.

Weekend

I am sitting here surprised that the implant in my chest hardly bothers me at all while the tube heading into my neck is quite sore. This is how it's been pretty much since Friday after the local anesthetic wore off. Friday afternoon and evening, I decided to forgo pain medication until I went to bed and took two pain pills instead of the one I normally would take. (I am allowed to take up to two every four hours).

Well that did the trick, I slept for two sessions of three plus hours each, the most for two months now.

Saturday morning I wandered down to the Market Street Mile (no intention on running) with my camera to shoot photographs for the Frederick Steeplechasers. After a couple of hours I could feel that my body was telling me I needed to get home, so I left skipping a post run party. You know if I skipped a party it was important to get some rest. I got some great pictures but my favorite is the one I posted below left. I'm a sucker for kid shots and how pleased this young kid was of her medal brought a smile to this haggard feeling soul.

This morning I headed out to meet my Sunday morning group but running would be out of the question. I tried just a few steps and with each “needles” shot into my neck. Hopefully this will ease up in a couple of days allowing me to get at least one or two short runs in prior to the19th.

Port In Place

Well another step in my journey is complete as the port was installed this morning. We left the house at six in the morning and returned by noon.

Stephen, one of the RN's who prepared me for surgery looked like a runner so we had a good conversation about training and trail running, after he left Susan mentioned, " The Steeplechasers should be paying you a commission for selling the club so much". It's the least I can do for a club and group of people who have been so supportive over many years.

You know the old joke, the one where you go to the doctor and say, "Hey Doc, my back hurts" whereupon he stomps on your foot and asks "How's your back feel now?". Well as I sit here (still under the influence of drugs) I feel pretty good. The area around the port is still asleep, and although I can feel something in my neck, I really don't think this is going to be too bad at all. 

No jogging for several days but I can go out for walks. Perhaps with this out of the way I'll sleep just a little better.


Mike

Chemo Starts September 19th

Sue and I met with the Oncologist yesterday, he has set me up to start chemotherapy on Monday morning September 19th.

Tomorrow I head to Frederick Memorial Hospital to have a port installed; this will be done as an outpatient surgery but is performed under general anesthesia. Sue and I arrive at six thirty AM, hopefully leaving sometime mid-afternoon.

On Chemo day, I'll arrive shortly before nine, this procedure, taking place at the FMH Cancer Center in Frederick was originally "advertised" as a two hour visit actually takes about four. After I finish cocktails at FMH, I'll head home to be greeted by a home call nurse whose job will be to "Pump Me Up" with a forty eight hour dose of 5-FU. She'll come back on Wednesday to remove the pump. For anyone interested the entire regiment is named FOLFOX.

As it stands now I will have eight regiments of this spaced out every two weeks. The day after Christmas would be my last treatment date.

Sue and I received some great pointers from one of the nurses yesterday the most interesting one being. "Keep a pair of gloves near the refrigerator just in case you need to get anything out of it".

This is to help with one of the weird side effects of Oxaliplatin which is a hyper sensitivity to cold. No ice cream, cold drinks or cold beers for some time to come after the nineteenth. Guess, if I'm allowed, I'll have to get use to drinking beer Irish Style. (warm)

 
On top of everything else it appears that I may have "tweaked" my left hamstring. I'm not sure how or when but it's bothered me enough that for the past two days I've had it wrapped up. If I had to do it then perhaps my timing is all right, I really wouldn't want to run in the heavy rains and with the port surgery I wouldn't be able to run for a few days afterwards anyway. This may just be enough time to recover as I don't think the hamstring is too bad.

Another challenge ..... Mike


PS> As I go through this process I am learning that if you want a straight answer, ask a nurse.

Jalks ?

This past week certainly was one of highs and lows both physically and mentally. After a week of taking Ambien I've decided it simply wasn't doing any good so I discontinued it, after all the longest I slept using it was just over three hours. So much for making sure you had eight hours available for sleep!

I have also been losing weight, after maintaining one hundred forty seven pounds for a couple of weeks I jumped on the scale one morning to see one hundred forty three. Thinking it was simply "water weight" I fully expected to see the scale dial jump back up but so far it has not. I feel like I'm eating enough calories but perhaps with a compromised digestive system what I'm eating simply isn't finding home base. I will be adding more high density calories to my diet to try to keep my weight above one forty.

Mornings have generally been pretty good and I have continued to lace up for my morning walks / jogs. It's been the afternoons and evenings which have been an issue as by mid-afternoon a deep down pain starts radiating out to my legs and back. I have found very little on the Internet to explain what might be going on but it sure seems as though nerves which may have been “asleep” are waking up. The discomfort has been bad enough that I even resorted to taking a pain pill just before laying down in bed to sleep.

Sue and Maggie have been very kind and patient with me offering foot, leg and back rubs to help take the edge off.

Saturday, I was hoping to get a ten mile jog/walk in (perhaps I'll create a new word and refer to those from now on as a jalks”) but an approaching thunderstorm cut it short at seven and a quarter.Even so I felt good and had plenty of energy left over.

Sunday, Susan and I participated in the ThorpeWood 5K walk 10K run. The race is held just a six or seven miles up the road from us on wonderful trails. The course winds along many scenic locations including Icelandic Ponies grazing in their fields and weeping willows framing a guest cabin on the far side of a pond. The course includes some short amount of roads, carpeted pine forest stretches and switchbacks climbing the one steep and nasty hill.

I have to admit, as the race started I had some pangs of sadness as the runners put distance between the walkers, even so, we had a wonderful walk regardless if my stopping for pictures did keep Sue from besting her former time. It certainly didn't hurt that Flying Dog Brewery was one of this years sponsors providing tubs of iced down, great tasting IPA's and Ales awaiting the returning runners and walkers.

Later.... Mike

Sneeze

Four weeks ago today surgery drastically changed my life, this is a fact not a complaint.

I would like to report that pain is gone, my body has gotten use to the colostomy bag and I'm sleeping soundly but that simply isn't the case. On the plus side, my return to running is in itself indicative of how far I've come but I am impatient.

Yesterday was as close as I've come to a “Normal” day until two thirty five in the afternoon when a rogue sneeze caught me off guard. I've been handling sneezes and coughs pretty well but this one came before I could get a hand down to support my mid-section. Instead of the pain radiating from the incisions, Monos (The Greek God of Pain) awakened nerves deep within to send me quickly to the office couch.

Today is better even though I feel as though I stepped back a week, this will pass.

Mike