My day has started well, beginning with Reiki administered to me by Dee and Lorette. It is amazing that in the span of just one half of an hour how much better both physically and mentally I feel at the end of the session. When I went in this morning both my hands and feet were still bothering me from the initial round of chemotherapy; when I left my feet and hands were almost 100%. I am very grateful to both of them and relish the role of, as Dee calls me, “Teachers Pet”.

I was going to take the day off running wise but I just checked my running log and I have ninety eight point four miles logged this month. Normally that wouldn't bother me but since I logged ninety nine point two nine miles the month before and because I've been watching reruns of “Monk” I feel compelled to lace up the shoes later this afternoon and run one point six miles to have an even one hundred miles logged for the month.

Tonight Sue, Maggie and I will head to Shepherd University to meet Patrick and pick up race packets. After-wards we'll head into Shepherdstown for a quick bite to eat. Patrick and I are going to run a 5K tomorrow morning, his first, I'm thrilled and looking forward to doing the race with my son.

Mike 

CBC II

CBC (Complete Blood Count)

A happy surprise today at the doctor's office, my blood counts are really good. For anyone who understands this stuff my HCT (Red Blood Cell Count)  was 42.7% up from 41.9% from my first test.Factors such as hydration will affect these results but at least I didn't plummet! (Normal Range for a male is 42% to 52%)

This presents a problem as I already "Blamed" my Sunday run performance on blood cells. UGH, I need to come up with another Michael "O" theory. Perhaps we should try this one... Hey dummy, you ran eight miles on Saturday, your on chemo, not sleeping well... what the hell do you expect!

As I waited my turn for my "Blood Letting" I sat next to an older woman awaiting her husband, he was getting his blood tested as well. When he came out of the cubicle I asked him, " Is this Fine Looking Lady Yours?", She smiled, he affirmed she was,  to which I said "Your a Lucky Man" to which he said, "Naw, she's a damn lucky Woman".

On other notes, I slept great last night with one stretch of just about three hours. For some that might seem like misery but it's the best I've had in months. Probably the reason I had a fantastic run this morning.

Such a good day I'm going to allow myself the pleasure of an Penn Brewery Oktoberfest Lager Beer.... Open....Sip......Damn that's good !

PS>  While I was at the Cancer Center I saw the nurse (Teressa) who is assigned to me for the duration of treatments. She asked if I ran this past weekend, when I told her I put in almost sixteen she looked at me and said, "Your Not Normal". Yeah I've heard that before. 

PPS> I have a WONDERFUL NURSE ADVOCATE at Care First, Marsha if you ever read this you are the best!

Tuesday Blues

Strange day, at times I felt bad and then just as quick as that I'd feel bad. Nothing horrible but just completely out of sorts. Good thing it rained most of the day because it gave me a good excuse to just hang out.

The tongue, jaw brain freeze thing is gone but my hands and feet are still sensitive. The inside of my mouth feels odd but thank goodness no sores. I haven't had a good nights sleep in a couple of evenings so that my be the primary reason I feel odd.

Looking forward to Saturday and running the Freedom Run 5K with Patrick.

A friend of mine is having Surgery tomorrow, Lynn you are going to do great. I tried to leave a comment on your blog but it error-ed out on me.

Mike

Weekend

It's been an "Up and Down" weekend for me. The side effects from the chemo are starting to wane but they are still there. Yesterday I ran eight miles, felt well when I got home but all that vanished after I downed a Whey Protein shake. There was an almost immediate reaction of nausea which left me on the couch for two hours. About mid-afternoon I was feeling much better but my hands and feet got pretty sensitive.

When I went to bed Sue rubbed my feet with a moisturizing cream and with my feet sticking out of the covers all night they felt much better in the morning.

This morning I met my trail running buddies for a little over seven miles. Larry and I ran together although I was forced to walk more of the hills then I expected or wanted. Running up the hills felt as though I was running at altitude with reduced oxygen at every breath. I know that the drugs I'm taking attack the production of red blood cells but I did not think it would be this quickly. I'll know more on Wednesday when I get a CBC (Complete Blood Count).

 Mike

Stink Bugs

The arrival of Fall has brought the first serious wave of Stink Bugs crawling all over the office in their bid to share our space over winter. I have heard rumors that it may be an "Epic" year for these pests, boy I hope that's wrong.

Last year, in the office, Stink Bugs crawled through the exhaust pipe of our heater, eventually falling into the blower motor. Our first attempt to turn on the heat resulted in a call to the serviceman. Pulling the blower motor exposed hundreds of insects jamming the motor. (I placed a screen over the pipe).

Stink Bugs will get into any and everything including sealed boxes. Last year a client from Chicago called me to inquire why I was shipping boxes "Full of Bugs".
Since then I open every box prior to shipment just to check.

Mike

Side Effects

I have little doubt that I handled this first round of chemo quite well but that is not to say I escaped "unscathed". Yesterday, sometime mid-afternoon I felt incredibly restless and just plain "odd".

Of course my remedy would be a good short walk in the woods. About a half mile into my walk I started feeling much better, alternating the walk with a slow jog; I managed to cover four miles. Returning home I felt better but my head seemed to be fogged. The benefits of the walk would not last too long.

The evening was just miserable, I'm glad no-one called since my attitude seemed to migrate downhill as fast my physical condition. It's hard to describe how I felt, I know I've felt worse but this was not pleasant. I have areas under my beard that appear sun-burnt and the sides of my head hurt as well. Remember how it feels to fall off your bike and brake with your hands? That good old road rash feeling, that pretty much describes how my hands felt. Thank goodness my feet seem to be ok.

I was in bed by eight-thirty and perhaps with the aid of a single Tylenol I fell asleep quickly.

Another day, Susie and I started with a nice walk, I'm feeling better and even though it's raining outside it's a much sunnier day.

Mike

First Completed Cycle

At three this afternoon the pump started buzzing and beeping indicating that the 250 mg of 5-FU was gone. At five thirty the home call nurse arrived to separate me from my contraption.

FREEDOM ! How sweet to be able to move about without having to think about managing the pump. I'll be able to shower tonight and jog (weather permitting) tomorrow.

This first round went well with little side effects to report other than the "first shock" I get when I put any food in my mouth. The top of my head has developed some sensitive areas and occasionally I feel just a bit "out of it". There has been some minor irritation to my hands.

Perhaps I'm pushing the envelope but I'm going to listen to some old James Taylor music with a cold beer.

One down, seven to go my friends......... Mike

Round Two

Maureen, the home call nurse just left after attaching my pump with my second cocktail of the day. I now have a stylish looking shoulder bag, to hang around with for the next forty-six hours. Certainly walkable, but running will be out of the question while I'm wearing it.

Finally a pleasant surprise in that it's only forty-six hours instead of forty-eight.

Also, I am experiencing the first side effect probably from the Oxaliplatin. After we left the FMH Treatment Center we went to the WEIS to pick up some anti-nausea medication. Sue also purchased other items including a bag of potato chips which I helped myself too. The first chip, the second it hit my tongue, sent a shock wave from the back of my mouth down into my jaw which was actually painful. The sensation lasted only a second, and only happened with the first chip. When we got home Sue made me some soup and once again the FIRST spoonful had the same effect.

How strange, I have read so much about side effects and no where did I see this one, perhaps if it keeps up and I document it they can name a syndrome or side effect after me, the "O" factor? 

One other thing, sorry Susie for my antics walking out of the treatment center this afternoon. I acted like I got the "twitches", in retrospect a nasty thing to do to my concerned wife but it made me laugh and eventually I think I gleaned a wry smile from Susie as well.

"O"

In the Chair

How surreal it seems that I have just started Chemotherapy, Theresa the RN helping me today has explained all about the drugs, possible side effects and with a one, two, three...... deep breath, inserted the Huber needle into the port.

The IV stand holds three bags of fluid connected to a pump which making a gurring sound as it pushes fluids to the port. In one chair next to me is a woman who the nurses are having some trouble finding a vien to administrate her drugs. Two chairs over is another woman who has lost her hair. To my right is another woman who apparently had a bad experience on her last visit. Even though what goes on here is serious business the mood generally seems upbeat among the staff and patients as well. I can't help but think that I have entered a sort of underground, one that I never gave second thought to until today.

I would not be as brash to say this is my only concern, but looking at three bags of fluid hanging from the IV stand conviences me that at some point I'm going to have to pee like a race horse. Hopefully, after not during treatment.

It's 11:30 right now, hopefully I'll be done in another hour to head home for "Round Two", my forty-eight hour cocktail mixture.

Later........... Mike

Susie's Race Update

It would be pretty difficult to find a more perfect morning to run a race then the one we had today.

Sue and I arrived early enough that I could get a few minutes of warmup. For the first time in over two months my Garmin was set to display the actual running pace.

During warmup I tested the legs at different paces to see what I might expect out of myself. Based upon what I felt I told Sue to expect me back at the finish in about twenty four minutes. I was somewhat disappointed, I really thought I might run faster as a "lite-weight". I'm not complaining, but with little training, most at twelve minute miles what can you really expect.

I don't want to give a "Blow by Blow" description of the race, all I'll say is that I was four seconds off my prediction with a 24:04. Kristin Shaw, who we sponsored, finished second female with a blazing 20:10. The only mistake I made was during the second mile when I backed off my pace on a hill, I don't think I really needed to, after all I have "No Ass" anymore.


As I closed in on three miles I was pretty sure I had passed the only guy in my age group (with the exception of a fifty-three year old who would run under twenty minutes). Looking behind me I was surprised to see a lot of space between me and the next runner. I knew at that point I might just place after all.

The bottom line, I ended up winning the 50 -59 year old age group award. In a "fast field" I would not have had a chance but sometimes it pays to just show up and give it your best.

Thanks Dr. Berg for getting me into this race, how wonderfully strange that I ended up being the "ringer" you suggested I might be.

Race "Jitters"

Funny, this evening I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to do in a five kilometer race tomorrow.

I'm not a snob about 5K races, I enjoy running in them but I don't really consider myself a competitive runner at that distance. Slow, "old" guys run distance.

This time is different; to be blunt "I've got no caboose to hold me back", I'm back to my high school weight. This fact was quite telling for me today when I went out for my usual five mile trail loop. I decided I'd run it all and did so in fifty two minutes. Some people would immediately say, "so what, thats over ten minutes a mile". Well any run under a hour on that loop is a good workout and I didn't even push that hard.

When I signed up for the race I figured I'd walk it, then thought that I might jog some, then jogging then entire thing and now I'm thinking about racing it. I don't know, perhaps I need a checkup from the neck up.

Later............ Mike

Treasure Amongst Junk

We've all been there, live someplace long enough and suddenly you realize that you have an incredible amount “junk” which has filled every closet nook, basement corner and god help us, spare rooms.

On occasion we might vow to tackle the demon and in good faith we set out on our mission. At this point it becomes a battle of wills, the will of the junk and the will of the junkie. There will be casualties on both sides, some junk will be tossed or perhaps slated for donation but often the “lore of the junk” forces us to repack and store for “future” consideration.

Perhaps momentous events are required to turn the tide in our favor.

Consider moving to a new house, moving somehow gives us the courage to hold a yard sale, drive to goodwill (multiple times) or rent that dumpster that might just fill to the brim.

In my case, the illness is allowing time to poke around in my boxes of junk. So far the plan has been a "two- fer"; two boxes of junk consolidated to a single. (The single cannot be twice as large as the individuals)  It's working fairly well but it's hard. For example; to a non-golfer this will have little meaning but to find a sleeve of “New” Titliest Balata Golf Balls in the bottom of a box elicited feelings of “wow, I need to play a round of golf with these one day”. Please Note: I gave up on them fifteen years ago, what thought process took over, I can't even imagine.

This is just like T-Shirts, how come I can't throw away my “Cellar Dwellers” college softball shirt with my favorite number nine planted on the back. Number nine, kids don't bother to understand but many years ago (1967/1968) there was a TV show, “The Prisoner” staring Patrick McGoohan that was a precursor to “Lost” . Each beginning of the show started with McGoohan introduced to some figure, perhaps "Number Two",  who told McGoohan his number was number nine. To which, McGoohan would respond, “I am not a number, I am a free man”. It's been my favorite number ever since.

While I'm on the subject of junk perhaps I'll take liberty to offer my “incomplete” junk categories. Please send suggestions to help me fill in this list as it's far from complete.

1. Re-gifted Junk, more prevalent early in our lives, typically arriving as gifts form fiends or family. If they didn't re-gift it then it falls into the category of “What Were They Thinking”. Wine glasses are special favorites; who wouldn't want to “break out” that set of white wine glasses showing a half naked beach gal to savor that fine glass of chardonnay.
2. What Were They Thinking; more likely because you got “drawn” in the family Christmas gift exchange or someone simple made no effort (but felt compelled) to get you a birthday or Christmas Gift. Lordy, Lordy look whose forty / fifty gifts fall into this category as well.

3. What were we (I) thinking; I say we because these are purchases that looked good at the time but proved their junk status by reaming in the dark crevasses of the home.

4. Just junk, all right this is a “cop out” so I don't have to think about it anymore. This category includes such favorites as wedding announcements, birth pictures, Holiday / Birthday Cards, Old kid stuff and so on.

So what about Treasure? Well amongst the boxes of junk that were to be consolidated I found two “Treasures”.

Both cards from the kids. (Images below) > The “Bear” was the cover of a Fathers Day Card from my Daughter Maggie.

Proof that you just can't throw out “Carte Blanche” even if it would be easier.

Later ..... Mike 

Temptation

A mountain biker I know passed along a link to an inspiring blog belonging to Jennifer Hanks, a thirty five year old professional mountain biker fighting breast cancer. Reading through her blog I have come to the conclusion, once again, that women are simply tougher then men.

Once again I feel as though things seem to fall in place for me as I have been more worried about the coming chemotherapy treatments than the radiation or surgeries. I will try to use her ideas about working through chemotherapy as I progress through this.

The morning today was fantastic, one of those cool mornings with a hint of fall in the air. Wrapping my midsection like a mummy I was able to head out and run with very little discomfort from the port.

I only ran about two and a half miles on the trail since I will meet the boys at the Hamburg Trail-head later this afternoon for four or five more. I did not have my Garmin with me but there were times when I felt like I was moving along quite respectfully.

Perhaps the only “Down Side” to my run this morning is “found temptation” to push hard at the Susie's Cause 5K this coming Sunday, don't worry I'll play it smart.

Weekend

I am sitting here surprised that the implant in my chest hardly bothers me at all while the tube heading into my neck is quite sore. This is how it's been pretty much since Friday after the local anesthetic wore off. Friday afternoon and evening, I decided to forgo pain medication until I went to bed and took two pain pills instead of the one I normally would take. (I am allowed to take up to two every four hours).

Well that did the trick, I slept for two sessions of three plus hours each, the most for two months now.

Saturday morning I wandered down to the Market Street Mile (no intention on running) with my camera to shoot photographs for the Frederick Steeplechasers. After a couple of hours I could feel that my body was telling me I needed to get home, so I left skipping a post run party. You know if I skipped a party it was important to get some rest. I got some great pictures but my favorite is the one I posted below left. I'm a sucker for kid shots and how pleased this young kid was of her medal brought a smile to this haggard feeling soul.

This morning I headed out to meet my Sunday morning group but running would be out of the question. I tried just a few steps and with each “needles” shot into my neck. Hopefully this will ease up in a couple of days allowing me to get at least one or two short runs in prior to the19th.

Port In Place

Well another step in my journey is complete as the port was installed this morning. We left the house at six in the morning and returned by noon.

Stephen, one of the RN's who prepared me for surgery looked like a runner so we had a good conversation about training and trail running, after he left Susan mentioned, " The Steeplechasers should be paying you a commission for selling the club so much". It's the least I can do for a club and group of people who have been so supportive over many years.

You know the old joke, the one where you go to the doctor and say, "Hey Doc, my back hurts" whereupon he stomps on your foot and asks "How's your back feel now?". Well as I sit here (still under the influence of drugs) I feel pretty good. The area around the port is still asleep, and although I can feel something in my neck, I really don't think this is going to be too bad at all. 

No jogging for several days but I can go out for walks. Perhaps with this out of the way I'll sleep just a little better.


Mike

Chemo Starts September 19th

Sue and I met with the Oncologist yesterday, he has set me up to start chemotherapy on Monday morning September 19th.

Tomorrow I head to Frederick Memorial Hospital to have a port installed; this will be done as an outpatient surgery but is performed under general anesthesia. Sue and I arrive at six thirty AM, hopefully leaving sometime mid-afternoon.

On Chemo day, I'll arrive shortly before nine, this procedure, taking place at the FMH Cancer Center in Frederick was originally "advertised" as a two hour visit actually takes about four. After I finish cocktails at FMH, I'll head home to be greeted by a home call nurse whose job will be to "Pump Me Up" with a forty eight hour dose of 5-FU. She'll come back on Wednesday to remove the pump. For anyone interested the entire regiment is named FOLFOX.

As it stands now I will have eight regiments of this spaced out every two weeks. The day after Christmas would be my last treatment date.

Sue and I received some great pointers from one of the nurses yesterday the most interesting one being. "Keep a pair of gloves near the refrigerator just in case you need to get anything out of it".

This is to help with one of the weird side effects of Oxaliplatin which is a hyper sensitivity to cold. No ice cream, cold drinks or cold beers for some time to come after the nineteenth. Guess, if I'm allowed, I'll have to get use to drinking beer Irish Style. (warm)

 
On top of everything else it appears that I may have "tweaked" my left hamstring. I'm not sure how or when but it's bothered me enough that for the past two days I've had it wrapped up. If I had to do it then perhaps my timing is all right, I really wouldn't want to run in the heavy rains and with the port surgery I wouldn't be able to run for a few days afterwards anyway. This may just be enough time to recover as I don't think the hamstring is too bad.

Another challenge ..... Mike


PS> As I go through this process I am learning that if you want a straight answer, ask a nurse.

Jalks ?

This past week certainly was one of highs and lows both physically and mentally. After a week of taking Ambien I've decided it simply wasn't doing any good so I discontinued it, after all the longest I slept using it was just over three hours. So much for making sure you had eight hours available for sleep!

I have also been losing weight, after maintaining one hundred forty seven pounds for a couple of weeks I jumped on the scale one morning to see one hundred forty three. Thinking it was simply "water weight" I fully expected to see the scale dial jump back up but so far it has not. I feel like I'm eating enough calories but perhaps with a compromised digestive system what I'm eating simply isn't finding home base. I will be adding more high density calories to my diet to try to keep my weight above one forty.

Mornings have generally been pretty good and I have continued to lace up for my morning walks / jogs. It's been the afternoons and evenings which have been an issue as by mid-afternoon a deep down pain starts radiating out to my legs and back. I have found very little on the Internet to explain what might be going on but it sure seems as though nerves which may have been “asleep” are waking up. The discomfort has been bad enough that I even resorted to taking a pain pill just before laying down in bed to sleep.

Sue and Maggie have been very kind and patient with me offering foot, leg and back rubs to help take the edge off.

Saturday, I was hoping to get a ten mile jog/walk in (perhaps I'll create a new word and refer to those from now on as a jalks”) but an approaching thunderstorm cut it short at seven and a quarter.Even so I felt good and had plenty of energy left over.

Sunday, Susan and I participated in the ThorpeWood 5K walk 10K run. The race is held just a six or seven miles up the road from us on wonderful trails. The course winds along many scenic locations including Icelandic Ponies grazing in their fields and weeping willows framing a guest cabin on the far side of a pond. The course includes some short amount of roads, carpeted pine forest stretches and switchbacks climbing the one steep and nasty hill.

I have to admit, as the race started I had some pangs of sadness as the runners put distance between the walkers, even so, we had a wonderful walk regardless if my stopping for pictures did keep Sue from besting her former time. It certainly didn't hurt that Flying Dog Brewery was one of this years sponsors providing tubs of iced down, great tasting IPA's and Ales awaiting the returning runners and walkers.

Later.... Mike

Sneeze

Four weeks ago today surgery drastically changed my life, this is a fact not a complaint.

I would like to report that pain is gone, my body has gotten use to the colostomy bag and I'm sleeping soundly but that simply isn't the case. On the plus side, my return to running is in itself indicative of how far I've come but I am impatient.

Yesterday was as close as I've come to a “Normal” day until two thirty five in the afternoon when a rogue sneeze caught me off guard. I've been handling sneezes and coughs pretty well but this one came before I could get a hand down to support my mid-section. Instead of the pain radiating from the incisions, Monos (The Greek God of Pain) awakened nerves deep within to send me quickly to the office couch.

Today is better even though I feel as though I stepped back a week, this will pass.

Mike