Visit with Mom

She tapped lightly on the bed wanting me to sit beside her. I sat down and hugged her, she feels so thin, I hope I will be able to hide my feelings from her. I have never bee n good at deceiving, she always catches on.

Mom looks tired yet her eyes sparkled as she spooned Boost and Ice Cream from a Glass. “Does this have Ice Cream In It? “, yes Mom I saw Trish mix some in when I was in the kitchen. “Well, Ice Cream makes everything go down better. Remember that”, she said.

Trish entered the room, I confessed that I had “Ratted Her Out” over the addition of the ice cream. She laid down next to Mom, comfortable in her flannel PJ's.

Conversation was light and cheerful, Mom enjoying our presence (And Her Ice Cream). Soon, It's time for another pill but she is having trouble swallowing them, Trish got up to prepare one by smashing it into more ice cream.

The second Trish left the room Mom leaned over, “Michael, Trish is taking such good care of me. She is even sleeping with me in case I have trouble during the night.” Smiling she laid back on her pillow.

The road home led me past homes ablaze with Christmas lights and signs of the season. As I drove on I started singing Christmas Carols.

My recovery moves forwards at a snails pace but I am content as I see progress. At this time last year, running a few miles required wrapping my feet in cold towels. Running a few miles would lead me to stand barefoot on our icy front porch. At this time last year I was sporting a Colostomy Bag pondering surgery to “Put Me Back Together”.

When I left Mom and Dads Saturday Evening, Mom gave me yet again another gift. The strength and grace in how she approaches end of life ..... struck a nerve which has been dead for some time. As I drove home grief was replaced with song, song opened a door to happiness.

Merry Christmas ............. Mike

End Of World ?

This morning I drove my son to work; .... returning home I looked towards the Mountain to witness the Sunrise creating streaks of angry looking flaming red clouds. Was this the start of the Mayan prophecy? Would the world end tomorrow?

How the hell do I know, I'm just asking the question.

Anyway, I came to conclude that the universe was in balance, “Angry Clouds Horizon” was met with Ground Level Homes Christmas lights ablaze. I started singing Christmas songs and felt good. Grant it, had my kids (who all are great singers) been along my croaking would have been painful, yet alone, it sounded as good as I could imagine. (Imagination is a great thing)

These are trying times for my family, Mom's time is short lived and Dad is struggling. There will be times of extreme sadness ahead yet all of us realize how fortunate we have been.

May 2011, I gave a card to Susan that read:

I am Working Towards A Time When Everything Gives Me Joy.

I'm not there yet, but I am getting closer.

There is little doubt in my mind that the Mayans are wrong. Even so I will be getting up at 4:15 A.M. Tomorrow morning to participate in an “End Of The World Run”

(It will be dark so headlamps are required). Crazy .......... Of Course ............ But ............... If the Mayans are Right ................. at least I'll end my final day doing something I love to do.

Sue...... Wanna ..... Call in Late For Work Tomorrow Morning?

To family and Friends, hug your kids, kiss your spouse and don't take for granted all you have received.  It's so easy to get caught up in the mundane day to day of life pushing us towards  loosing focus of the truly important.

Stay Happy ...... Merry Christmas ... Mike

Addiction 12/12/12

On the telephone my sister said, "Your addicted to running" .

The idea that I would be addicted to anything hit a personal cord as addiction is a touchy family spot. My "Knee Jerk", stupid man reaction was, "No I'm Not"

She may be right.

Almost three weeks have passed since JFK; I have been nursing a physical injury and have run about as much in three weeks that I would in three or four days. I feel like crap and my body has not been pleased with me. Hands ache and the numbness in my feet spreads beyond just the toes.

It is known that running produces endorphins; they are powerful, here is the Wikpedia definition:

They are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus in vertebrates during exercise,^[2] excitement, pain, consumption of spicy food, love and orgasm,^[3][4] and they resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia and a feeling of well-being.

 Good Lord ! I never knew I had it so good until this investigation. What's not to like about being addicted to running?

This morning; 12/12/12 I laced up my shoes and did a four mile trail run which left me feeling quite well for several hours.

Guess I'm about ready to become an addict again.

My wish for all is that you look inside, find what makes you happy and go for it.

Happy Holidays ............... Mike

Passed

Yesterday I learned of the results of my CT Scan and they were good., let me rephrase .........fantastic!

It would be an understatement to say I am relieved, I had prepared myself for the worst. On the way home a bottle of Korbel was acquired and readied for an evening celebration. Sometimes however, life has a way of tempering events. The phone rang, it was Susan with a deflated tire and a tired daughter. No problem, mood still elevated, I threw tools and air tank into the jeep to race to the rescue.

The Jeep had other ideas.

Key inserted, turned clockwise and ........ nothing. Shifter moved into neutral, a turn of the key ...... nothing. Flip on the lights ...... nothing. Son of a ^%&* , try again ...... nothing. Call Sue on the cell, Dear, I've got nothing. Fortunately we have great neighbors so my gals were “rescued”.

Perhaps the mood took a hit but it was a small one. For the next several years there will be quite a few more tests and I'll probably sweat out each one. No matter, this one is behind me so I look forward to getting stronger and healthy.

I am grateful.