All Spent

I don't know why I should complain, after all if I were to discuss my situation with health professionals they would most likely say my progress is well above normal.

The problem, as I see it, is that I don't care to talk to health professionals anymore. I am far more interested in talking with my trail running buddies on the merits of back to back LSD runs. (Long Slow Distance), or Joey, on returning to the driving range for some practice.
 
Ultra season has started and I'm probably capable of running an "Easy One" with a proper plan in place. In my mind I'm there, however the reality is that professionals are going to be a big part of my life for some time to come. Thursday for example I'll get to see a whole lot of professionals for the removal of the port in my chest. A simple procedure, I'm told but each time I have a procedure it comes with a measured amount of pain, discomfort and life alterations.

I will have to take this weekend off after surgery but I'd like to think that in my head I'll visualize running with Larry on another fifteen or sixteen mile jaunt.

OK all, as the title of this post may imply, I'm tired, last night was my ANIB for this week. (All Night In Bathroom).

 Shit happens ....... Stay Well and Enjoy your Week  ... Mike

Stubbed Toe

I stubbed my toe on a rock and it hurt ! Actually it was the second time in less then a week that I had done so with similar results.What an odd sensation as the nerves in my feet start coming "On-Line" again.

It has been a strange week, one with some really good ups and downs. Take yesterday for example, feeling good after an eight mile run on Wednesday I headed out on a unbelievable Thursday afternoon to do whatever mileage I felt like doing. My right foot was somewhat sore from a small rollover I had the day before but after a mile or so that went away. As I mentioned the weather was fantastic for February, in the high fifties and sunny to boot. With Molly in tow we hummed along until I decided it was time to “Go exploring”.

New Trails are always fun, anymore I know as long as the sun is out I can't get lost. So four or five miles into our run I saw a new trail I wanted to explore. It was a Mountain Bikers trail that became a labyrinth further up on the mountain amongst the bolder fields. It was a blast ! When I returned to “Proven” trails I knew my run would end up being somewhat over nine miles.

I felt great when I returned home and surely wish to report the feeling remained with me for the rest of the day but a dozen or more trips to the “Comfort Station” (generally in a sprint) tempered the satisfaction from the afternoon run. Even so, it's a price I'm more than willing to pay.

Reiki this morning, once again in the able hands of Dee and Lorette; I left the Cancer Center feeling so much better than when I arrived. Most of my experiences with our sessions are absolutely the best when I have the ability to fully “Let Go” of everything, relax and feel the energy of my practitioners and myself. Easier said then done; too much of the mundane day to day worries of normal life get in the way, yet when I can get where I want it is quite extraordinary.

I have Surgery scheduled for March 1^st to remove the port. This will be somewhat of a milestone for me because I cannot look at myself in the mirror thinking I have beaten cancer with the implant there. Now if it were a six million dollar man implant, and, if I'd “Toast” all my runner friends speed wise or bench press two hundred pounds so many times it would make my brother's heads spin I might have a slightly different take. I am grateful that we live in an age of such remarkable advances, but by God, “Get That Thing Out Of Me”, is my plea.

Getting On With All of It..... ME

Six Weeks Ago

I sit here and wonder how it's just been six weeks since I was reacquainted with my large intestine.

The progress I've made astounds me yet I am constantly reminded of how far I still have to go. In my last post I failed to mention that I had to beat a hasty retreat from the American Cancer Society “Relay For Life” held at Mount Saint Mary’s Friday Evening. Susan and I started the relay walking the opening lap for the caregivers and survivors. A pleasant reception followed but as one of the speakers went on I could feel the rumblings from the “never regions” begin to talk to me. “Mike, Oh Mike you silly lad did you forget about us ?“

Panic didn't set in, I trusted all those Kegel exercises I had done months before. I was more concerned I would look like a butt clenched duck waddling along as I searched for a men's room. As the speaker finished I was up and moving; luck was on my side as perhaps the reception room was built with us “ole folk” in mind, a comfort station was just a couple dozen steps away. Ah........

Relieved, Sue and I headed back to the Gym to find our Nephew, Zac, who is a student at Mount Saint Mary's. My relief didn't last too long and before I wanted, “We need to go home”, were the words that left my lips as I spoke with Susan.

So anyway, as you already may know from my previous post, Saturday went well. Sunday morning I returned to my running group and ran eleven more miles ! Running was followed with re-hydrating with a couple of recover-rites, followed with lunch (lentil soup), warm bath and a nap. When I awoke blue skies and sun enticed me to throw some weight in a pack and take Molly out on a hike. Once again I felt wonderfully tired, but then at eight thirty.......

Why the Battalions of Intestinal Duress feel they need to punish me after such a fine day is a wonder to me. Jumping up from the couch I would not return for almost thirty minutes and when I did I must have looked white as a ghost.

The stress in the bathroom amplified the neuropathy in my hands and feet to an extent that I decided it was time to go to bed. Three hours later I was still awake, it was only when Sue came to bed and rubbed my back could I finally get some sleep.

So for all the progress I'm making I am reminded of ships, super tankers which require miles to perform a change of course.

It will come in time..... Mike

Tired

I'm tired this evening, a good tired that one gets after a full day of physical activity.

My day started with a sixteen and a half mile trail run with my running pal Larry. It was a perfect morning, and, with engaging conversion the miles were covered easily. Larry and I even got adventurous and tried some trails I have not run in some time, I was proud of myself that I did not get us lost. It was my longest run since August when I ran half of the Catoctin 50 K course with Kristin Biris. The only negative was I had to fight the feeling that I needed to “drop trow” almost the entire run.

After my run, I returned home for lunch, a warm bath and an energy reviving nap. Following my nap, splitting and stacking firewood was followed by starting the wood-stove and attending to other chores.

It was a good day...... Mike

Low Rider

My apologies for leaving such a negative post unanswered for several days but in all honesty my mood had not changed much, until now.

The trip to the dentist went better than expected but still set me back three quarters of a mortgage payment. Three hours of drilling was followed with real fun as the Crown Vic fully lost the rear air suspension as I headed home. Riding up Route 270, each bump sent a bone jarring reverberation from the rear of the car to the rear of yours truely at a time I just did not need any additional stimulation. I am happy to report, no change of clothing was required and three inches of clearance remained on the car when I arrived home.

Keith, the guy who takes care of our cars weighed the cost of putting spark plates on the bottom of my  "Low Rider" or replacing the air suspension with a traditional springs and shocks. For a brief moment I considered the spark plates and a cross country run to LA where my car might just be appreciated. In addition I figured if I got to LA, Joey, my college roommate would fly down from San Hose for a few days to drive around looking "cool" with me. At first it seemed like a good idea but I slowly realized spark plates would only be a start, all kinds of additional enhancemets would be needed such as hydraulics (to bounce the car), a banging sterio and a cool paint job as minimum requirements for a gringo low rider.

As I picked up my car this afternoon, with it's back end proudly reaching for the sky, I thought about "tooling around" in LA and smiled.

Mike

Fowl Mood

I'm in a fowl mood !

Yesterday evening I missed Maggie's recital due to another attack of Battalion I (Intestinal Division).

I knew my attempts to stave off the attack might be in vane which was proven when Battalion I performed a flanking maneuver and attached from the rear.

There have been quite a few events I have missed in the past year but few grate on me as much as missing a performance from one of my children.

On a good note I ran thirteen and a quarter miles Saturday morning. It was a splendid run with a couple of inches of snow on the trails, snow hanging on the trees and large white flakes ambling their way to final resting points. It was a slow run, taking a full three hours, yet, I drew a great deal of satisfaction that I could do this just five weeks after surgery.

Hummm......Surgery, that reminds me of the eighteen hundred dollar bill I got just an hour ago for forty five minutes of work. This bill however is one I have no problem with, others well lets just say I have “issues”. Since I am in a bad mood I'll mention just one. To facilitate the chemo I had a port put in. It's time to have it removed, I'm going to use the same practice, same surgeon yet I have to schedule a five minute “consult” which is a fine way of saying. “Hi Mike, OK we're going to take it out, see Avery to schedule surgery. Sorry for the hour wait but the line at Starbucks was just crazy.” BTW > Two Hundred Seventy Five Dollars Please.

Dentist visit tomorrow to start another assault on the family budget, already in my head I hear, “Mike, we really should put a crown on that broken tooth” ChaChing 3K please. My answer will be that we can pull the bugger or just grind it down to where it could be stabilized.

Sorry guys for the rant but like I said I'm in a mood.

Valentine’s Day Tomorrow, at least I have a Great Valentine to share the day with.

Happy Valentine’s Day To All ........ I mean it, mood and all ....... Mike

Oncologist Visit

Words are powerful, and when I heard, "Well I'm not going to tell you not to...."

The mind immediately moves into defensive posture.

It's not like I don't listen to my Doctors, because I surely do, however, I imagine I push the limits a wee bit.

This past Tuesday may have been just such a day.

Having been instructed to slowly introduce fresh fruits and raw vegetables into my diet I probably should not have eaten a half container of the all veggy salsa followed by several ounces of fresh broccoli (with veggy dip), followed by some (cooked) cauliflower rounded off later with a couple of beers after a real hard seven mile trail run. I even mentioned to my running pals as I opened a second beer. "This might be a mistake".

Mistake or not I felt pretty darn good until about eight o'clock when the first battalion of intestinal distress hit me sending me on a world class sprint to the bathroom. Waves of distress continued throughout the evening until at one o'clock in the morning when I awoke with a keen awareness that speed was of the essence. Jumping out of bed with "asleep feet" I stumbled and hit the bathroom door jam "Face On" hard enough to knock my senses off and remove a hunk of skin from my right cheek bone. The intestinal battalion finally won, I didn't quite make it to my awaiting throne in time. 

Perhaps the only "funny" part of all of this has been the reaction several people have had when seeing my mangled face. "Wife beating you again Mike ? "

Back to where I started, "I'm not going to tell you not to run but your nerves are damaged and will take time to heal. You don't want to be pounding them any harder then you have too".

My reply was, "Thank God I'm a Trail Runner. Trail running is much easier on the feet then Road Running". I then explained that I did not have any ultras in the very near future, only a half trail Marathon at the end of March. Of course that one is straight up Terrapin Mountain and down again. Defensive and justifying, do you think ?  

As I move forward my blood will be tested every three months for the next year.  I will have a Colonoscopy, Cat-scan and follow up visits with all of the Docs who have treated me. The port which was placed in my chest will come out as soon as I can possibly arrange it. Dr Goldstein would prefer I leave it in but as I told him, "I cannot look at myself in the mirror with the Port still there and feel that I am cured". With those words the good Doctor pulled out his pad and wrote the order to have the port removed.

The road ahead will have it's bumps, the neuropathy could take four to six more to fully disappear and lord knows how long my digestive track will take to become somewhat normal again. It will take months if not years to regain the strength and endurance I've lost over the past twelve months but if I stick with it, if I push to my limits without being  "stupid" (That's the real challenge) I'll return and perhaps improve as now I have a greater appreciation of what running has done for me.

Time to go, things to do including putting a new door knob on our bathroom to speed up entry time (The Old one Sticks). The fresh Strawberry's might need to be put away but if there are only a couple left I may just finish them off, a couple more won't hurt, besides, they taste soooo Good.

Be Happy All..... Mike

 

Welcome Back

This morning Larry welcomed me back to our trail running group with a perfect card and note ; the timing could not have been more appropriate, since today, I felt like I was back.

Had you asked me last night if we would even be running this morning I'd have to say it was doubtful. By six P.M. Yesterday we had two inches of snow with more predicted. Fortunately, the bulk of the snow passed to our North.

Following the best night of sleep that I've had in six months I was happy to see no more snow had fallen, roads were clear so game on. The trails were in better shape than expected with patchy snow and some mud. Trees and Mountain Laurel hung onto powdered snow just waiting to dump their treasure down the neck of any runner who happened to just brush a limb. For those not running completely “Heads Down” it was like running through a wonderland.

My original plan was to run to Delauter Road and back for a little more then a six mile run. Completing the run I stood around yacking with my fellow runners until they left. Several of our group had elected to run twelve,  they were still out on the trails; fueled with a bagel and a beer I decided I'd run another loop and time it to finish when they did.

I thought I'd take it easy but once I started, I felt a stride and energy that I had not felt in months. For the next three miles there were times I felt like I was flying.

Mike

Acceptance and Patience

I have never been someone who liked anyone or anything keeping me from something I really wanted to do.

Today our running club held it's first official event of the year, the Lewis run and as the race started, I sat in the bathroom feeling a bit angry that I was missing out.

Most people would probably tell me I was being unreasonable, it's only been a few weeks since surgery.

"Talking to Myself", I thought I should be content with the twenty miles I've logged this week, yet I sat on the throne angry that I was missing out.

Guess I getting better......

Friday, morning, getting out of bed my first few steps were reminiscent of a drunken sailor. I really didn't think much about it and continued with my morning activities.

At my Reiki session later in the morning, Lorett started reflexology on my feet when I realized that half of my toes were totally numb. To say I was surprised would be a understatement, I guess I have gotten use to my hands and feet "buzzing" but almost completely numb, that was a surprise. At least the burning sensations I would get after a run are hardly a issue at this point.

My digestive system seems to be making progress even if the process is slower than I'd like. It will just take time.

Later..... Mike