Up the Butt Again

Yesterday I was put to sleep with the same drug that took Michael Jackson to his permanent sleep. Perhaps that explains why I woke up with echos of “Thriller” ringing in my head. Perhaps however they were playing Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits while I was under. I can just picture the Doc “Moon Walking” across the floor just as he “Wanna Be Startin Something”, it could get worse as later the tracks move on to “Beat It”. Yikes, glad I was asleep! I imagine it's good no one would have thought “Pretty Young Thing” as my bare ass hung out on the edge of the table. Whew...Got by that one.

I imagine the outcome of yesterdays Colonoscopy was good but it will be two weeks before I'll know anything definitive. As it sits today, I know I have added Hemorrhoids and Diverticulitis to the new me. Dr. Yang removed some unwelcome visitors but did not seemed concerned. “Got that going for me and that's ..... nice”.

This morning was one of those rare Maryland June mornings, crisp and cool, blue skies with white fluffy clouds. I went out for a short trail run with Molly but the cool air and the feeling of being alive compelled me to add a few more than planned. Another gift added to the pile of them.

I am a Gemini, supposedly having “Dual Personalities”, two rounds of golf this past week exposed both. First came “Stone Hands Mike”, a gent capable enough with a wood or iron but the proverbial eight hundred pound gorilla with a chipping device or putter. Yes, I was able to turn a low eighties round into a smooth ninety three. My second round exposed a somewhat more capable gorilla who actually made a couple of birdie putts and could keep a chip shot on the putting surface. This gorilla shot a seventy eight something.

Seventy eight something? “What the hell is that”, you might ask.

Well, on the last hole I had eighty yards to the green, perfect for my sand wedge. As the club smacked into the ball it also smacked something lurking just under the surface of the grass stinging my hands propelling the golf ball one hundred percent sideways.

Justification is a wonderful think, “I'm not taking that crap, it's the "Month of Mike”; I dropped another ball and struck it twenty five feet from the pin. Ahhhhh... that's better, I'm happier and what the Hell does it matter anyway. Guess I'll have to turn in my USGA membership but worse things have happened.

Stay Happy and Recognize the simple pleasures we receive are gifts.... Mike