Sword of Damocles

Yesterday I was reminded of the fable of “The Sword of Damocles”. The story goes that Damocles, a member of Dionysius II's court, (4^th Century Greece) was given the chance to rule, all was well until he noticed a sword hanging by a single horse hair directly over the throne. The uncertainty of this life was too much to be borne and Damocles willingly returned to his former life.

While not quite the same, I watched a friend's dog get hit by a car as we relaxed following our Snowy Cold Sunday morning Trail run. In an instant our jovial mood was transformed with the shock of what had just happened. Don't worry, the dog is fine.

Returning home I couldn't help but recall how quickly my life changed twenty two months ago with a phone call and those words, “Mike.... I'm sorry it's Cancer”.

Hoping that I might help prevent this happening to someone else, or ......... , to give hope to another, I have agreed to present a short speech at Mount Saint Mary's University on Monday February 4^th.

I think it would be easier just to run a fifty kilometer race. It  will be hard work in the coming days to find the right words.

My first race of the year is now set, The Terrapin Mountain 1/2 Marathon Trail Race on March 23ed. Hopefully whatever this injury across my mid-section is will be healed. In 2011 I was 46^th out of 120 running a 2:50:12, last year I was 14^th out of 165 running a 2:28:05 which perhaps was one of the finest runs I've ever done, two weeks after port removal surgery, ninety days after intestinal reconnection, running with numb feet and hands.

How the heck did I this happen?

This race was right after we all found out that Mom had Kidney Cancer, she was “With Me” the whole way, inspiring me as always.

Mike

Tired

I'm tired this evening but it's a good tired brought on by a sixteen
and a half mile run, followed by a couple hours of fire wood cutting,
followed by shopping with the kids for Sue's birthday tomorrow.

I think the shopping did it.

Mike

January 13th

Thursday, January the Tenth my Mother was laid to rest, I'm not sure it has all sunk in yet.

I don't know why but for the past few months I have paid attention to all the details that made Mom's home special.

Her home reflected the season or holiday at hand with touches uniquely hers. Though out the year boxes were packed and unpacked, decorations placed exactly in the proper place. Not under nor overstated her touch made her home comfortable.

Though I feel I have dealt with the stress of the past few weeks well, my body may be telling me otherwise. I have not had a good nights sleep in about a month, hands and feet are painful and progress with my GI tract is agonizing slow. The injury I sustained prior to JFK was aggregated when I slipped whilst shoveling ice at Mom and Dad's.

Running has been hit or miss so far this year but as long as the weather isn't too bad I expect I'll pick it back up in the weeks to come. I want to add speed training into my mix but this will have to wait until I'm injury free. I have signed up for the first race that I will try to run competitively, Terrapin Mountain which is held at the end of March.

The Frederick News Post wrote an article about me which came out January 8^th. To be honest I had mixed feelings about doing it but if it helps a single person then it will have been worthwhile. I was at Dad's house when the article came out; on the phone with Susan I became aware that my conversation regarding support I received from her, family, friends and the medical community had found the “cutting room floor”. Without that support I'm not sure that I would have continued running at all, it would have been easy not to.

The link is below.

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/health_fitness/display.htm?StoryID=145377

There will be difficult days ahead but good ones as well. If I know anything at all it's that my Mother would want me to get on with my life. When running trails by myself I will be talking with her, there may be no answer yet I believe she will be listening.

Mike

Mom is Gone

Earlier Today I left the following Facebook Post

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My Mothers battle with cancer ended last night. All who knew her are fortunate, those who were her family are blessed.

When I left her house yesterday afternoon, I kissed her and told her I Loved Her. She smiled, to weak to speak she mouthed the words, "I Love You Michael". Another gift to me after a lifetime of them.

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For me Facebook is a way to keep friend and family informed but is not the proper venue for much more then that. 

I did not go into the "Nitty Gritty" of the last two weeks and I have no intent to do so here. Yet I am compelled to write more then just a Death Notice.

One of my strengths is that I am a good observer, this helps me when it comes to photography but not in to dealing with the "Nitty Gritty" of life. Birth is messy, death can be horrific. 

As an observer I watched my youngest sister who can be one "Tough Cookie"
provide the most passionate and loving care that any human being could give to another. She did everything for Mom, especially after death's door stole Mom's strength and ability to do for herself. This was an ordeal, not days rather weeks. 
I may be able to run fifty miles or more but I never could have done this.

As an observer I watched her daughter show the same kindness and perserverence. 

As an observer I watched my brother make my Mom  comfortable with his massages, gentle touches and kisses on the cheek.

As an observer I watched the entire family rally to the cause, as all families should. Of course in times of such extreme duress nothing flies straight so there are wounds to heal. It will take time but I believe they will be healed since it has always been my Mother's wish that our family stay a family. 

Times ahead will be difficult, my Father may make sure of that but I will do my best. I made that promise to my Mother. 

This morning was cold and overcast, snow lay on the ground and I felt there was no air to breath. I put on "Puff Daddy" (My Arctic Parka) and went for a walk. The snow crunched under my feet, the cold air tickled my face while "Puff Daddy" kept me warm and comfortable. Much like the hugs I got from Mother when I was Young..... It was a good walk.

Mike