Golf is a
wonderful, fun and cruel game all of which can be experienced in the same round.
Today I
played in a charity event for the benefit of Saint Jude’s Hospital. A scramble
or captains choice event (as some call it) I would be paired blindly with my
fellow playing partners.
Imagine my
surprise when our group is a threesome and my playing partners are a guy who
hasn’t played in a year and a gal who is joining us after a thirteen year
layoff.
Often in
these events a threesome may have a distinct advantage, if the players actually
are familiar with the game. This comes from the second shot a player can hit to
make up for the “missing man”. For someone hitting the ball well ……………..
Let’s just say “Green Light Special”. There would
be something else special for my appearance today. For the first time ever, I got to play from the
senior tees.
Our first
hole was a par three, I hit second, sending the ball ten feet from the stick.
Our lady partner would get “Two Whacks”, swing one a complete whiff,
obviously to the trained eye a mere practice swing. Ooops, strike two but finally
metal made contact with plastic and the ball politely dribbled to the front of
the tee. I took the
two putts, each hitting the hole and spinning out. Predictions began to echo
through my head, could we shoot par?
There was a calm
feeling as I stood on the next tee. From the senior tees these holes look
really short ……….. Swing easy. Three
hundred yards later a twenty yard chip shot was all which was left. Birdie!
The Eagle on
the next hole heightened my senses, perhaps this might go better than I had
expected and indeed it did.
We hit all
eighteen greens in regulation and had I been able to putt we might have won the
event. We were a highly respectable ten under par with yours truly only making
two putts. I did not putt poorly, indeed I burned edges and lipped out all day
long.
Once again
the putter served to beat on me, to tease me with the “almost, would of, could
of, should of “. Until, yes …….. Until
the long putt competition.
A fifty foot
challenge with ten feet of left to right break.
We passed
the putting green in the middle of our round; five bucks rewarded three whacks
at it. What the hell I thought, I’ll try because we sure could use that fifty
inch LCD TV, the prize for closest or in.
Perhaps the
touch of an angel smoothed the stroke, rolling
the ball in almost perfect harmony with the world. With twelve feet to go the
force of gravity broke the ball hard to the left, with two feet left there was
a chance. Oh, so close as the ball slid past the hole on its back side,
stopping a mere four inches from the intended destination. Now for a
surprise, I thought the attendant would send my ball back but he announced, “You have to
leave that ball there”.
With this “Local”
rule it was more like Bocce Ball than golf. If I knocked my first putt away
with either of my remaining efforts, well, tough luck. As you might imagine
neither of the other putts were as close.
Tournament
over one solitary golfer stands on the putting green. There is no doubt he is
the last as they are close to awarding prizes. I had just sat down with a well-earned
cold beer and some veggie snacks.
Whack, a
screamer of a putt ten feet wide of the hole and twenty feet past. I breathe a
little easier seeing who will be the last player to try to best me. The second
stroke resembles the first but perhaps has been hit even firmer as it screams
down the green it all good chance to move thirty feet past the hole.
DON”T COUNT
YOUR CHICKENS UNTIL THEIR HATCHED. How many times have I head that?
This
screaming putt hits the flagstick, jumps straight up in the air a good two feet
only to land right back in the hole. OH MY GOD!
If there is
insult to injury, the winner takes his third and final putt placing it no
closer than twenty feet from the cup.
I LOVE GOLF,
I HATE GOLF, THAT TV WOULD HAVE LOOKED REAL NICE IN THE LIVING ROOM. IT’S GOLF,
NOTHING ELSE NEEDS TO BE SAID..... Mike
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