Best Made Plans

If I learned nothing else Saturday:

NEVER TO TIE YOUR RUNNING SHORTS if you have GI issues.

Following the success of last week’s twenty mile run I was confident that yesterday’s run would even be better. A perfect fall morning if ever one were to be had. White Grass, painted with Frost looked good against deep blue cloudless skies. Five of us met with different mileage goals but we decided to run together.

Craig and I were looking for twenty two, Don and Jim sixteen, Randy and Riley (Randy’s Golden Lab) twelve.

Six out and back looked like the best way to start.

I felt good as we started, confidence boosted by a dietary plan followed for the previous two days. Thursday was Deemed “Low Fiber Day”, Friday, liquid diet day. (No not beer)

The reasoning for this approach was simple, Near Zero x GIissues = Near Zero Issues or Nothing in the Pipeline, No Problems.

Perhaps two miles into our run I knew something was not working to plan. At mile ten all hell broke loose.

I had hoped to make it back to our starting point but it was not to be. Off to the woods I went, it wasn’t too bad, I had plenty of time and lots of trees to hide behind. The second time wasn’t bad and without thinking I tied my running shorts as I “Put Myself Back Together”.

Number three, three times a charm? This was no charm and there was no time. As I bounded off the C&O I prayed that no one would run or ride by while my shorts were hugging my ankles. When I tugged my shorts I realized I had to untie them. Why is it I would invoke the Lords name at a time like this? “Oh God, Jesus, hurry up”

The fourth attack was like the third but without the need to untie my shorts. YES!

To say I felt like ^%&* after the fourth time would be accurate and appropriate. It was a long mile and a half back to the car and I had convinced myself my day was done.

Sensing that something was wrong Randy waited with Craig in case I needed a ride home. I was ready to quit until something “Clicked”. I had the foresight to put a pain pill in my fanny pack, I took half.

It took about two miles when I started feeling better, by the time Craig and I covered our “Five Out”, I was better yet.

At the completion of our run I’ll admit I was tired but I was elated as well. Had I given into temptation and quit I would had not experienced the ability to come back. Now I know that if I have a problem during JFK, one way or another I can try to work through it. Apologies in advance to whomever might get mooned.

Thanks to my friends, again.

Mike