Saturday, January 21, 2012

Perception, Meet Reality


Sometimes, it's amazing the difference between perception and reality.

I promise not to focus on my “Potty Training” for all my future blog posts but for now it's a rather controlling force of life.

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Last night, my children, Beverly and I had planned a nice dinner for Susan's birthday, Chinese food, carrot cake (her favorite), sparkling wine, flowers and presents. Since I have been having issues with my feet after walking I decided to skip my afternoon walk to be one hundred percent for the evening festivities. What I hadn't factored in was the treatment I would receive from regions “North of DA Feet”.

For some reason my bathroom requirements have more necessary in the evenings then in the mornings, this evening would border on the the ridiculous. My sessions started off innocently enough later afternoon with no hint that they would soon be required every fifteen to twenty minutes as evening approached.

As time passed, the perception that I had just passed the Rock of Gibraltar was met with the reality that “Bunny Foo Foo” could have laid down a bigger marker. Fire flowed from the depths of hell to the point that even the baby wipes presented no relief.

Sorry, I digress, but while I'm on the subject of baby wipes, those who know me can testify to my skills with Photoshop. In every bathroom of my house and office you can find a package of baby wipes bearing a lovely picture of a woman cradling an adorable baby. It is a comforting picture, yet in my darkest bathroom moments the devil is trying to convince me to replace it with a photo of a balding middle age man, tears steaming out of his eyes as fire shoots from the throne below. Temptation has almost won out.

Where was I, oh yea, Susan's birthday dinner.

Like Custer's last stand I made a valiant effort to make it through dinner, standing up of course. After too many trips back and forth, I made my apologies and off to bed I headed. Laying down felt good but did not help the frequency of visits. Soon, sitting on the throne I heard voices raised in song and joined in with my grunt loaded rendition of Happy Birthday.

I don't feel a bit sorry for myself, instead I'm grateful that I'm here knowing that each day may present it's own challenges but I will meet them knowing I will prevail, one day laughing about it all. At this second in time I don't want to laugh too hard as it might just shake something loose.

Keep Smiling, keep your sense of humor ................. Mike

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